It’s been 10 years my Father crossed to the other world at the age of 61 and a very brief hospital stay for de hydration.  I was in a different cultured family with a very honest ,sincere ,hard working and non greedy husband and inlaws who’s belief and behavior system were very different from my parental family. Both the families  were of different mindset and there was a major compatibility issue due to poor communication skills among each other.One spoke French another Spanish( hindi / pujabi).When my mother who had till then undergone uterus removal surgery, gall bladder and hernia surgeries aswell was suffering with cataract, varicose veins and leg and back ache constantly because of being a senior citizen by then aswell her only brother and sister being abroad from last 40 years ( unable to visit India due to their own financial constraints) aswell as my father s only sister too being  700 kms away herself looking after her bed ridden husband, there was no support system  .When both my old parents lived by themselves, they used to take care of each other in ailments. How could I leave an old woman (my mother) all by  herself ? So as we were bringing my Father’s last remains from the hospital I told my mother firmly …now you come and Stay at my house( I had not till then seeked permission of my husband and in laws for same and being non earning aswell being dominated by them all the time ,I never knew how this would happen. ) .My mother said to me ,How can I go to your house” log kyaa kahenge”? ” shadi shuda beti ke ghar rehna”, I actually got really furious thinking who are these ” Log” where were they when I had to pay my father s hospital bills? Where were they when I had to stay at night with a two year old child in hospital at night with my ailing father? Where were the “Log” when my 10 year old was hungry and alone at home when her mother was attending her grand parents at hospital? More on what and how my mother came to my house! But has any of U ever met those” Log”?

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