Part 1 here
So here are my lessons learned and understanding during this entire year:
1) Desires can blind you at times
Good or bad, desires are desires. When we want something very badly, we somewhere become selfish. And that too is fine for sometimes one has to be at some point of their life. However, we must not lose sight of whether our actions are harmful for others. What is at stake, are we willing to take responsibility and pay the price for the outcome of our actions?
In my happiness and desperation for initiation, the only thing I was thinking was even if something will happen to me its okay! I will die atleast trying. Little did I thought that what about if someone else got in danger because of me? Was I willing to take responsibility for that too? I had just returned few days back and even if I had no symptoms, there were asymptomatic people also spreading the virus not knowing! And leave all others, how did I not pay attention to Guruji’s well being. Will there be any bhakta who would do anything that will cause discomfort to their bhagwan? Well that was exactly who I had become blind with my desire.
When I realised this, for few days it was really difficult for me to come out this guilt that how can I be so selfish and that too with my Guruji who is none other than Shivji himself in human form for me.
First lesson learned: Desires are okay but being blind by them is what we must avoid at all costs. We must consider from all perspectives the decisions or choices we want to make and if still we find them good and we are willing to take responsibility for the outcome only then we may proceed.
2) Be grateful for what you already have
We all want to achieve something in life. Be it material or spiritual or anything, there is always something or the other for which we are continuously trying or atleast thinking for trying.
However, while pursuing our dreams we mostly forget to embrace and be grateful for things and people we already have in our lives.
While there were so many people who were away from their home when the lockdown was announced, I was with my family atleast.
We saw such a huge number of people who walked on foot try to get back to their home. Then there were some who did not had enough food. Many were fortunate and wealthy enough to afford it all but were trying to get their family member admitted and there were no beds left in hospitals! So many young people lost their jobs. I could not even imagine what they must have felt. Such tragic situation people were facing. And all this while, alone by the grace of Bhagwanji and Guruji I was safe and was enjoying my time with my parents and working from comfort of my home.
How unfair will that be if I forget all of this and whine about things that didn’t happen as I planned? If I were bhagwan I would have definitely slapped such ungrateful people!
Second lesson learned: Working towards what you want from life is good but be grateful and embrace what you already have.
3) Only efforts/ Karma is in our hand and Patience is the key
We often listen to Guruji’s words that persistence and patience are very key and there is tremendous patience required for this path. Never before I understood that this much better.
Even if we have put our heart and soul to something, not everything is in our hands really. In fact, the only things thats in our control is our own efforts/ karma. In the end of the day if we can have this satisfaction that we tried our best, we may sleep in peace for we will know whatever was possible for us, we have given our best. If we really believe in karma theory or law of attraction then we must know that one day or the other we will get what we are trying for. However, the “when” is not in our hands. So, we must try our best and leave the rest to nature. Wait patiently. As Guruji says, be grateful and graceful. 😊
Third lesson Learned: Give your best efforts and have patience.
4) Was I even ready? If I may learn from my disappointment
We often feel we are ready or deserving when it comes to anything that we had apply for. Even if we dont say it out loud out of generosity but in the tiny corner of our heart we do feel that may be we were better and deserving one.
And I could not had been more wrong if I would have thought the same even for few seconds!
Although I felt sad and disappointed after what happened but when now I look back, the person I was one year back and the person I am now, I can say that it was pure grace and a very gentle heart of Guruji that he accepted me. I had so many flaws, I still have many, I dont know how Guruji is so kind and generous. Even after this one year there is sooooo much improvement that is needed. So there is a lot that we can learn from our disappointments. If we are willing to accept the reality and take a closer look we can become the better versions of ourselves.
Fourth lesson learned: Sometimes we overestimate ourselves, there is always so much room for improvement.
5) If we may shift our perspective and see this as an opportunity
Once Guruji has said that ocean is same for all. Its on us whether we are carrying a big vessel or a small one.
I see THIS PERIOD OF WAIT AS OUR GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO BE BETTER PREPARED for what may come in future.
As Guruji says ” जितना सफेद कपड़ा होगा उतना गहरा रंग चढेगा “
and my cloth was multicolored I think let alone white!
We can utilize this time to be better versions of ourself. Don’t waste it. Try to shed your old tendencies and beliefs that may be a hindrance in your way of spiritual progress. I know its not something that happens in short span of time but if we may try atleast and carefully watch our minds, the results will start to show up in just one month. I have tried and it did work. We still have six months left till November.
Try to inculcate qualities which Guruji had sopke about. Watch you actions and words closely. If you have anger issues or a procrastinator or have to be physically fit. Whatever that may be. Utilize this time! Its up to us whether we whine and just wait or use this to our advantage.
There are so many sadhanas and meditation like Kundalini Meditation on which Guruji have elaborated so beautifully. You may try any of these. Just try to make this time count so that when you will be in front of the ocean you are not carrying a spoon. So you may try to be a big vessel meanwhile ( now you get the tagline 😊 )
Fifth understanding: I must utilize this time. Its an opportunity like a blessing in disguise.
6) Surrender : The one who have brought us this far will take us further
As much simple is the meaning of Surrender, the more difficult it is to practice.
We often say that we have surrendered to the will of God or the Guruji but have we really?
If we have then there is no room for doubts or questions of whether he is listening or why is he not doing something as we wanted.
Just think of yourself 10 years back and in most cases you will find you had no idea where you have ended up today. The one who did not leave our hands when we did not had him in our minds, why will he leave us now. God never leaves anybody. Just do your best and Surrender to him. He knows all and where is the room for our own selves anyway when he has entered 😊❤
Sixth understanding: We may be saying that we have surrendered when actually we are far away from it. Understand the meaning and essence and Surrender now!
PS: Pranaam Guruji, I am really sorry for my careless acts. I surrender at your lotus feet.
I am really very grateful to you Meera Maa and os.me platform for giving me positivity whenever I felt low.