The Day i was to get my marriage fixed( Rokna/ Roka) ,i wore my mom s modern art print golden brown stylish saree with white lilly flowerd ear rings and neck tight my father had bought for me from an exhibition in the 5 star hotel where he worked,he had liked them instantly and thought they ll make the princess of his heart look like an empress wearing them! My only fashion statement since i got a little style aware have been ear accessories, studs ,long danglers ,hoops ,baalis all oxidised ,golden ,silver ,brass ,bronze with different coloured stones have been a precious part of my ear ring collection ! Infact my love for ear ring is so much that a very close friend sent them from London on my b.day but maybe the postal staff liked it so much that they wore it on the way and i only received a b.day card.Coming back to my Rokna day ,so it was just the immideate family affair ( my parent grand father and me) and my now husband’s mom ,dad ,sister and him! As they entered our house on dinner we greeted them with smile and some coke in borossil glasses and Dhokla and asked them if they would prefer dinner before ceremony or after? Within 10 minutes of coming and inspecting our house on pretex of using washroom or keeping glasses themselves in kitchen and before starting any ceremony they asked us to give them 10 minutes privacy in a room, so we happily asked them to use our bed room! After 10 minutes, my then would be Fiancee came out and asked me ,i want to talk to you for 2 minutes ,which my parents and i readily agreed ,he took me outside to balcony when my would be mil sil and fil were conversing generally with my parents and asked me to immideately change my saree and ear rings to something simple and sober, they were finding my dress up too loud.Mind u my father had been working in a 5 star hotel ,my mom is born and brought up in east africa ,all of us were post graduate from Delhi university and quiet exposed and fashion concious and not that jhattak type Aamir khan of rangeela movie! I dint mind his saying this and immideately changed to my office wear maroon suit with white polka dots and small ear rings with pearls! Next we had dinner and exchanged gold coins among each other to formalise the match( Rokna). Next day we were to meet at chhatarpur temple to solemenise our match in front of Mother Divine too ,i again dressed up in a bright magenta raw silk punjabi suit with jutti and long danglers! With very piercing looks my would be mil and sil examined me and said something in private to my would be husband who had to meet me alone in evening for cofee!In evening my then Fiancee and now husband got me 14 punjabi suit material of his choice for which when i reached home my father really scolded that i have become materialistic and greedy but i too had gifted him 6 lacoste t.shirts from my salary! Each meeting he and his family wanted me to wear clothers ,ear rings and foot wear of their choice which they felt was sophisticated, stylish and more rich in looks, even each of my wedding saree from my side too was there choice to which they justified if you have to live with our family u should wear clothes of our choice! I dont know was i a coward for scare of engagement breaking ,or spell bound with getting engaged or trying to act sanskari but this behavior continued till even after 7 years of marriage when maybe i think my own choice became like theirs but at times it pained my heart! My love for ear rings was gone they never allowed me to wear artificial fashion jewellery and every non agreement to their conditions always lead to a big Kallesh in house not worth the peace of house ,so to avoid such unhappy and uneasy situations i started adhering to their choices! Was this my samasya? My Tapasya ? My ego ? The most comfortable and best situation i could be inn or My ego or was I A Coward?

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