I haven’t been writing in what feels like a very long time, and I don’t like it.
I am afraid I may have lost my way with words if I ever had one because writing is a muscle, I was told. If you don’t use it, it will end up limp and semi-lethargic like a sloth with no place to go.
I don’t want this to happen to my writing.
There are rumbustious thoughts in my brain, hopping this way and that. They become particularly excited at night, right before I lay down with my favorite book, and my old body lets go of the tightness accumulated during the day.
I let my limbs relax in a long shavasana kind of rest, and the lavender oil dabbed on my wrist does its things. How long is it going to take?
I want someone to fluff my soft pillow, and flatten the grey t-shirt-type sheets underneath me. To unwrinkle them.
Visuals are important. I like to look at pretty things and those that are in order — in a way pleasing to the eye. Do you?
I am reading “The Mixture As Before” by Somerset Maugham- one of my favorites, and it is brilliant. I appreciate how his words flow into the page like warm dark Lindt chocolate melting in the pan when you are cooking brownies. His letters fitting together perfectly, one after the other. Effortlessly. Like in a slow dance between them and the page.
I have been traveling long distances for the past five days. This is one of the reasons I have not sat down with the computer on my lap and let the thoughts fall on the blank page like I am doing now as I slump on the couch of the California living room of one of my beautiful boys.
The last time I was in this same neighborhood was in 2011 when I graduated from my first Yoga Teacher Training. It feels like many lives have gone by, and a lot had to be unrevealed to be where I am now.
I shouldn’t be surprised, though, because one of the things I often speak about with the gorgeous people I have the privilege to work with is to be clear on what you want out of life and expect it to manifest in its best possible scenario. Be ready to welcome miracles because they happen. Like a forgotten guest knocking at your door when you least expect it.
This is not some new-age bs many follow to fill the void in the heart (not going to work) or to feel more “spiritual” (not going to work either). It’s a matter of trust and belief that the Universe does have your best interest at heart.
Are you with me on this one?
I believe this because so many times when I felt only something incredibly impossible, borderline crazy, was going to save me, it turned out that it did indeed happen, thus catapulting my life into another dimension. One, no one but me would have thought possible. You got to trust, let the process unfold, and step out of the way.
And so here I am sitting on a white sofa, with the California sun’s rays over my head, looking at my life in reverse, once again marveling at the magic that unfolds daily in front of our eyes if only they are open enough to see it.
I’m going to leave you with some Somerset Maughan’s food for thought. Because why not?
“ Now it is a funny thing about life, if you refuse to accept anyhting but the best you very often get it: if you utterly decline to make do with what you can get, then somehow or other you are very likely to get what you want.”
May all your dreams come true.
Thanks for reading.