What good is your meditation?

I got speechless when this above question was posed to me yesterday. I immediately got silent, aware and mindful of my words. I immediately realized what am I doing right now? And I came back to senses.

I had been stressed out from last four days over an issue and was trying hard to control my emotions. And had been figuring out for a solution as well, but last night after day’s mindfulness practice, I lost my cool and blabbered excessively for nearly three to four minutes for no reason at all. Then, I was posed with the question below by my dear one.

You had been meditating and had logged 300 mindful hours in BL app, but what good is your meditation?

Listening, hearing and absorbing those words, that question inside my system; deep within me somewhere shook me from head to heels and I was ached from tip to toe.

I had an immediate realization but still this mind of mine tried to justify my mindless speech by answering, I am not a perfectionist, am trying, am practicing meditation and one day I will reach that state, the state of tranquility where nothing matters eventually, where I can absorb that everything is transient, where I can live in NOW.

I could not sleep whole night pondering over that question and thinking was my answer worth it. Perhaps, I was just satisfying my ego, justifying my mindless speech. I felt hurt and thought to stop my practice and started moaning. The question echoed in my head for many hours while tossing and turning on my bed and a self-interrogation started.

Then, I immediately sat, closed my eyes and asked, “Swamiji, where are you?”  I am here, with you. Tears rolled down my eyes when I felt His presence. The aura became peaceful and my determination for self-transformation increased many fold.

I am glad that someone questioned me, doubted me and asked me what I do and why I do. My inner strength and my self-belief became greater than before and I decided that I will stay in this path, never to give up and to take charge of the see-saw of emotions and to cut down on the tendencies that my many lifetimes have accumulated.  

Let us all get together and help each other to get away with our restlessness in life. Let us support each other to align our actions, speech and thoughts. Let us give each other a gentle reminder that this life is precious and there is no time to waste. Let us assist each other to empower ourselves with happiness and freedom.

Dear Swamiji, my Bhagwan, seeking Your blessings and grace to lead a virtuous and mindful life. My deepest gratitude for being there in our lives and guiding us to purify ourselves. My humble obeisance at Your Lotus Feet.

Jai Shri Hari!

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Ritu Om Chatterjee

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