EMOTIONS MAKE US HUMAN. CONTEMPLATION ON EMOTIONAL ACTS MAKE US A BETTER HUMAN.
‘Emotions’ – a favourite topic for me these days. More I contemplate on my past emotional acts, more blockages of mind get clearer and swamiji’s practical wisdom seeps into the freshly cleaned holes.
My memory is not great. Only few actions/incidents are still engraved in it, otherwise I hardly remember much……. Yes, yes, I do remember my immediate family birth dates, as also my marriage date 😊😊😊😊. Today’s write up may help me further in the cleansing process.
From age 25 till 48, I used to attend a spiritual satsang-gathering off and on, before swamiji took me under his umbrella in 2014. The talks were very practical, and people humble and caring. Often, I used to travel 35 kms quite happily, just to attend the talk and get my batteries recharged to take on life with vigor and wisdom.
It so happened that the senior lady of group started construction of her house, my friend who had introduced me to that group, casually mentioned it to me. My emotions overpowered me and quite willingly I offered a monetary help of Rs. 5 lakh, since I was totally impressed with the genuineness of the group head. Here, I would share that we are not at all super-rich, rather each penny is earned with due hard work and saved because of our economical habits – a gift of our penny-less childhood (me and my husband). Subconsciously I knew that my expectations in lieu of this monetary help will definitely be taken care of. It was neither charity nor a clear cut loan since I refused the paper work my friend had offered to be signed. Emotions are always 24 carate pure, I believe, and no wisdom can dilute them. Hence no question of thinking what you feel.😊😊😊😊
Time kept clicking, months turned to years, many major economic changes like demonetization also happened, the behaviours changed, intentions changed, they changed and I also have now changed, though still unable to digest such an unwelcome change.
In fragments, after a lot of very soft pursuing, only around 1 lakh was returned and rest pending with such sweet souls who, once, were more than a family to me. And, the burden on my soul is that I have been keeping this loss hidden from my immediate family. I have now stopped reminding the lady to return the money, as emotions have been replaced with intellect now.
I feel sad to find myself deprived of those pure emotions now, the emotions that give you pleasure beyond words can tell, the emotions that keep you रसात्मक, a feeling that gives you the sample-taste of BLISS, we all are looking for. It seems something DRIED completely inside me and that dryness is NOT what I relish.
Swamiji’s experienced wisdom has been a great support and working well on me.
Yet…….. at times….. some ripples here and there…. keep disturbing the still waters…. waters which are not totally still though.
Is it okay to keep remembering such incidents ? Is there any tailor made remedy to clean and clear the slate of mind? Else, let the prints take their own time to get faded and vanish?
Jai shri hari🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹