This is my personal story about knowing meditation since my childhood but still trying to find it everywhere.
The crazy part about this world and internet is that the more you research, the more confused you get and ultimately get off track, because whatever you search online has someone reinforcing what you are looking for. Try anything a search with “is meditation good for me” will give you uncountable articles, but so does “is meditation bad for me”.
I was introduced to mantras and pooja since childhood and then to a specific type of yogic meditation dedicated on increasing focus in my school life. Later on I learnt about chanting mantras and a lot of motivation from one of my Gurus (yes I have one life and many masters 😀 ). I used to do both the focus meditation exercise and chanting on beads for a tenure in my life, before taking a very long break (not sure why – maybe life/age changed). However my devotion remained in my heart though dormant but still alive.
Then comes the magic word meditation in my life and everyone everywhere is talking about keywords like mindfulness and meditation and about inner journey and about no thought mind, darkness, monkey mind, counting 1,2,3,4,3,2,1.. etc etc etc… Honestly I was confused by knowledge, and no matter how much I tried to control the monkey mind, there were just too many techniques and I couldn’t master any!! And there was a time it felt like the world around me was progressing while I was dormant. Probably in some cases ignorance can be a bliss.
One fine day, I was watching a youtube video and heard the term “japa meditation” and that was the start I was looking for. Upon hearing that suddenly I had a realization that yes Jaap is a form of meditation. This never struck me initially only God knows why. I knew the perfect meditation for me all along but I was confused by the extra knowledge I gained from internet. And this amazing form of meditation I knew how to do and was ok at I never considered as meditation since I always took spirituality and meditation differently, and why not when meditation is soo heavily marketed in a way that is non-spiritual.
Thankfully I am back to my roots and just like Arjuna who first knew what he was doing, then got confused and then finally clear of all doubts, I am clear of my doubts.
So my personal comments to anyone who is confused by the terms meditation and literature on meditation just like I was at a time is that meditation is not limited to the very few forms publicized, who knows you might also be knowing the perfect form since childhood but got diverted from track while seeking something you always had.