My infinite salutations at your divine lotus feet Swamiji 🙏
My life was a roller coaster, where downs were more than the ups🙄
Life is never easy and it is not meant to be, when we ourselves have messed it up over so many births, how can we expect it to be smooth?
As I was trying to handle my challenges in life and trying to understand why we all go through this endlessly, there came another challenge which changed my whole perspective about life.
Not going into the details of all my previous ordeals, straightaway jumping to the latest challenge that I had at that time.
For continuous couple of months I started having throat pain and fever. After few tests I was asked to do FNA biopsy of thyroid, I was very confident that all is well. But when the test results came, I was shocked to know that I was having thyroid cancer, carcinoma in medical terms.
When I called up my husband, ( he was in office )and told the result he cried inconsolably. Our son was 5 years old at that time. Once you become a parent all you think is for your child and you want to live for the child more than for yourself. Both the parents are equally important for kids wellbeing.
I was bit relieved when oncology doctors said, it was in the 1st stage and thyroid cancer is the best cancer one can get, as it is not aggressive and life expectancy is at least 20 years. I was thinking if I live another 20 years my son will be 25 years of age and he will be ok to handle oneself.
I was all set to get my thyroid removed, just the day before getting admitted to hospital thought of buying some spiritual books, to keep me engaged for 5 days in the hospital. Reading spiritual books is one thing which has helped me all these years to get going in the most critical times.
Went to a book store to buy bhagavat purana, as I was browsing through, saw the book ‘If truth be told; a monk’s memoir’ ,( kannada version of the book,) without a second thought bought that book, as though the book chose me. Never before that,I had heard about Swamiji, though I used to often watch spiritual videos and read spiritual books.
While in hospital I started reading the memoir, needless to say next couple of days were bliss, operation was for 5 hrs duration and there were some risks involved, but everything went smooth.
I was found, I still hadn’t realised it!!
After returning from hospital, I started watching Swamiji’s videos often.
Year 2019 Oct
For our 10th year wedding anniversary, I asked my husband if we can go to Badrika ashram, he readily agreed. To avoid the crowd we decided to go there a week before as it was deewali time.
Mid October 2019 we went to Chandigarh from Bangalore, 2 days stay in Chandigarh for sightseeing for our kid and then when we reached ashram in the evening, discourse had already begun, we missed Swamiji’s discourse but we were present for the evening arati.
As we entered the hall, my heart missed couple of beats💗 seeing Swamiji for the first time. I cannot express in words joy I felt being there and listening to Swamiji singing SriHari arati.
Next morning after arati, Swamiji before leaving the hall, stopped for a couple of seconds, spoke to my son and kept his divine hand on my son’s head, should I say I was on cloud 9?
We had a group meeting in next couple of hours, I get nervous easily so I thought, instead of blabbering something infront of everyone better to pen it down. If you are still reading, by now you must have come to know my proficiency in English😬😔😓. I wrote few things about me and asked for initiation.
Did I realise I was found then? not yet, so Swamiji said let the smoke/fire settle then we will know if I truly desire initiation from Him.
3 days stay was truly a bliss, ever smiling and beautiful SriHari, and then waiting for that moment for Swamiji to enter the temple, eagerly waiting devotees and their devotion, lovely Giri river, delicious food, and presence of Swamiji, definitely heaven on earth
I was happy to start my soorya Sadhana there. 😊
It was time for us to return, I really don’t know what happened to me, I started crying when I sat in the cab, 4 hrs journey back to the airport I was crying most of the time. (Ofcourse without my husband’s notice 😊) flight back to blore I was crying.
After coming back, I read books by Sadhviji and more crying followed. My crying settled after couple of weeks/months. I am a very rigid person, but I used cry a lot whenever I read biography of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahans🙏🙏 . Now similar feelings whenever I read anything about our beloved Swamiji.
How I wish I had read ‘Om Swami as we know him’ and ‘Book of faith ‘ before going to ashram. I would have appreciated my blessings better. Can I thank Sadhvi ji enough ?.🙏🙏
Initiation form notice popped up in the night, I was doubtful if Swamiji will accept my request. Nevertheless I filled the form and submitted immediately. Though I didnt have much hope, still waited eagerly for the reply, He did accept my request!!🙏🤗🙂
Waiting eagerly to join Om family.
I was hesitant, and not sure of writing, but as we all eagerly wait to read about Swamiji I thought of sharing my experience.
What good karma have I done I don’t know, nothing in this life atleast. What have I done so deserving to be living in Swamiji’s time? Isn’t it His grace alone that I am here?!