I am Covid Positive.

I went through a series of happenings once Covid happened to me. When I gave my sample for testing, I was 100% certain that I don’t have the bug. My son had developed few unusual symptoms and in the process of getting him tested, I also got myself tested. In just another 2-3 days, I came to know that I am positive. I was all fine and mocked the report. I kept waiting for a fever to happen. Nothing happened. I developed an understanding that the report was a false positive which made me go for re-test. Nonetheless, we followed the policies of our complex and shut ourselves completely inside (we had actually already done that on the day I saw something unusual happening in my son’s skin). My re-test report came negative. The scene was hilarious at home because by the time this new report came, I had started developing fatigue and tightness in my chest followed by heaviness in throat and a very hoarse voice. Day by day, my fatigue grew and one fine morning, I could not just get up from the bed. Whatever may the reports say, I had Covid. Ahh! A bit of a struggle started. I am still managing the bug but it’s acceptance has given me a strange kind of strength to deal with it. So, the truth is that I was expecting Covid to happen to me. I was very much indoors and limited in my social interactions till the end of last year. But as came the January, I started widening my world just like many others around. I was still much cautious, controlled and precautionary but I was relatively active.

Covid is a micro-organism and it has arrived. It is existing now and is part of the same existence as we are. If there is some God up there, I doubt it sees any substantial difference between this new micro-organism and the already existing one, we the human. Organisms live on each other. We live on plants and some of us, also on animals too. We consume them all the time and we call it ‘Life’. Covid needs a host, an active host. So some fine evening, it would have found a good one in me, a beautiful young healthy lady 😉 and it crawled in. I wasn’t surprised that I became such a wonderful habitat.

In my view, Covid is some form of life in itself. It’s trying to make it’s own space in this Universe and it’s rather quite adamant about doing that. It won’t leave without deploying and we must prepare for the same. The most searched query on Google perhaps is ‘When will Covid end?’. This question is wrong in itself. To itself, the virus is not a virus. It must be seeing itself as some sort of a special life, may also as the most superior amongst the all. Just like us, the mighty humans. But alas, thanks to the very fragile nature of our existence; the strongest among us too succumbed to the new invisible creature (it’s high time to regard it so). Many will fall victim to Covid and many others will become immune.

The tough unwelcomed answer is that Covid WILL NOT END. Instead, we shall need to strive more and that too in some right ways. Strengthening ourselves is the only way. Don’t resist it much, don’t think about it much, just work more on our inner systems. Live a low profile life for a while. Be less social, if it’s possible but be more human. Covid will break us both physically and mentally. People are reaching their saturation level; raise the bar of it for we are also here to stay. We have stayed on this Earth since millions of years and we shall continue to. Soon, either Covid will become conducive to our presence or vice-versa. An alignment and agreement will naturally happen and some day, there will no term as covid-positive very much like there’s none as viral-fever-positive, flu-positive, malaria-positive etc now.

Also, it’s time to bring some changes especially in the ways we plan our life and/or we live it. Someone next to us sneezes and we can die. Yes, we can die anytime. Is there a point in planning a life which is so fragile and evaporable, thinking it to last till an old age always. Plan life considering it’s friability, feebleness and delicacy always. Make gratitude, compassion and joy as the basis of living and not the materialism and consumerism. Covid makes the best of the souls go wild, selfish and wanting in dire need of either survival or undivided attention and care. Just love them at that very moments. Love those too who aren’t able to reciprocate love too for all of us are God’s work in progress.

There are many lessons that Covid had to impart. My deepest prayers for everyone today. Stay blessed.

 

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Shivani Om Aggarwal

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