Why Don’t We Change?

Has this question ever stumped you like an unavoidable wall?…

We don’t change actually, at least not up to our expectations. Don’t we let ourselves and everybody down frequently? Come on, be honest! Haven’t you ever faced this dilemma that even after reading and listening so much about self-improvement we fail to change at the root of our being? Unless you are a lame excusitionist* or a totally ignorant person,—one who does not even know that he doesn’t change—this is very much obvious. 

We take up resolutions but don’t follow through them; we give promises but don’t keep them most of the time; we make up our minds to do certain things, and yet we do not continue them, or do the complete opposite. Do you see the hugeness of this problem? 

Human nature is very inconsistent. Inconsistency breeds all kinds of internal conflicts. So, we perpetually live in conflicts. And as a natural consequence of that, we live battling through fears, worries, restlessness and clashes. 

So, why don’t we change the way we want? Someone wants to control his or her anger, but fails in most cases. Someone wants to be disciplined in his or her endeavours, but finds it hard to keep up with it. This is our everyday reality, isn’t it? So, what do you think are the reasons? And are there common reasons which can be applied to all? 

Well, this is not an individual’s problem, this is everybody’s problem. So, let’s approach this question like that. But before I go into the reasons, I want you to explore the reasons yourself. This is an excellent question to meditate upon, to understand ourselves. If this question never crossed your mind before, I’m putting this question for you. Do reflect upon it: why don’t we change? 

You don’t need answers to think about a question. Just learn to think. Let me help you. You can start by asking: do I always live up to my expectations of others and of myself? At this point you may realize that you’ve let down yourself and others numerous times on numerous occasions. Don’t be disheartened though, we all have. Ask yourself: right now, am I the person that I wanted to be? If not, ask ‘why?’. And this will lead you to deeper layers of questioning. Go with that flow. Just see where it leads you. Questioning requires truthfulness—that no matter what, I’ll remain truthful to myself—and steadfastness. Don’t be satisfied or try to console yourself with answers—any answer. Just enquire. The aim is to reveal our nature, not to sit relaxed with comforting answers. If you follow through this process, you’ll realize many things about yourself and others. You don’t need anybody’s explanation then. 

And precisely that’s why, I’m deliberately avoiding answering this question in this post. I want you to do the hard work—use your brains. Think, reflect, find out the reasons, understand them. And still if you don’t get the clarity, my next post will be there. Check if it resonates with you or not. 

Until next…

P.S: I made up the word excusitionist. Don’t know if it even exists or not. So, take it as a matter of humour. 

Thank you for reading this far. 

Feature Image Credit: istockphoto. 

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Alok Singha

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