Sometimes I think what is the meaning of life . Perhaps there is no single meaning of life. As there is no single code of living  for everyone, meaning of life is  different  for different people.  Whole life we try to search answer of this question   in self help books  , in the discourses of Gurus  but the truth is , each one of us has to find out his or her truth on its own. Yes we can have inspirations and  often influences also but if our core is not connected with them in real sense then under inspirations and  influences  , we can tread only a few steps and it  will end up in mere imitation of someone .   But what is most important thing required here, I think having   an unconditioned mind which can see the truth beyond the limits.

But this is not so easy . Since childhood our mind is chained in the limits of reward and punishment and sudden change in the paradigm is always difficult at any age. We are expected to live in the society in a certain way . Any deviation … and  you will be entitled to punishment . Go to school  , get  college degree , get job , get married  , have kids  , follow religion  and rituals and so on  Not doing some of the requirements create fear and doing something outside of them also do the same . We always remain in the boundaries because of reward and punishment. If we do the wrong things we get punished, we get disapproval, we get rejected and avoided, and if we do the right things, we get  praise, attention, approval, and support. It proves that we always want approval and love . We want success  , money everything because we need love from this world , from our family and friends. We want to matter because of our desire to get love and acceptance. Problem is not in this  , problem is that this love and acceptance of outside always comes with a condition. Any wrong thing in marriage and you will get divorce ,  not associated with any religion you will be rejected , not respecting  culture  and you would be labeled as cultureless . Hence we always struggle to get others love by doing something and by not doing something. So everywhere we have to live within our predefined  limits and these limits are limiting us from getting what we could have  in absence of them  by killing real happiness and joy.

We all know self love is very important then why we need love of others , reason is  whenever people  approve or appreciate us for achieving something  , we  also approve ourselves in  mind and feel good factor comes in existence .  Similarly whenever we do something wrong  , rejection from outside causes depreciation  of self worth   and we starts saying in mind that we are useless. This proves whatever we do in life all is to get ultimately  love from ourselves   , so  it was never about others.  The love we want from others is the love what we give to ourselves.  And if everything ends at this point why the route is so complicated.

To live a content life self love is crucial  . if you cant love yourself  then how can you love others? Hence be there for yourself whatever the circumstances are  , success or failure    , love yourself and give yourself  unconditional love  to see  beyond  the limits.

 

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VANDANA JAISWAL

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