Sometimes you cannot take credit for your words. A strange fervor grips you and you write feverishly. You try to style it better something actually stops you from changing a single word. Once the final word is typed out you feel drained yet exhilarated because you cannot believe the words came out of you.
This was a time when Ma would freely talk and share so many little nuggets and stories that it completely filled me. I was completed soaked in her bhakti.
One day I was sitting in my parent’s house when I was seized by the sudden urge to write about the moment Ma had her first vision of the divine. I grabbed my phone and this poem poured out in a couple of minutes. I tried to edit or change a couple of words but something just stopped my fingers from even touching the keyboard. I immediately sent it to her and her response is beyond the scope of the post. Without going into specifics, she told me I was just a medium to get this message to her.
Before Ma went into silence, I requested her permission to work with Neelanjan and illustrate the poem.
She sat in the lotus pose
Back straight, eyes closed
Chanting the name of Bhairava
With every breath she whispered his name
Intimately like she was one with him
Till the skies parted and she took off
To see Nataraja dance
She kept beat as his divine feet thundered to the music of creation
Worlds created and destroyed with his fluid joyous motion
He was ecstatic for she finally remembered that she was his beloved Sri
She had thrown off the cloak of Maya that had been shielding
Her divine presence from thee
She came back after eternity and Uma was now called Sri
She chose the name and the name chose her for she is Sri Devi
I cannot end this post without thanking Neelanjan. It took me a couple of minutes to write this poem and Neelanjan spent months drawing this. He is truly one of the kindest and most compassionate person I have met and lives his life with such dignity and simplicity that it’s an honor to know him.
Words usually flow when I write about my mother but am speechless today because sometimes you realize the enormity of what is available to you and a silent namaskar is the best you can do.
I am sorry Ma, I could not do more justice to this post. Today, your glory simply escapes any attempt to define it but that’s probably because today is all about my brother Neelanjan.