A few month ago, my friend had just crossed age 45. Just about 8 days later she was struck with COVID-19 & she passed away so suddenly. In the group we received a condolence message that ..“Sad.. she is no more with us”. #RIP

Two months later I called her husband. A thought crossed my mind..he must be devastated as he had a travelling job. Till her death she would oversee everything.. home.. education of their children… Taking care of the aged in-laws.. their sickness.. managing relatives.. everything, everything, everything…She would express at times..“my house needs my time, my hubby cant even make coffee tea, my family needs me for everything, but no one cares or appreciates the efforts i put in. I feel they all take me for granted ”.

I called her husband to see if the family needed any support, as, i felt her hubby must be feeling lost.. to suddenly have to handle all the responsibilities, aging parents, Kids, his travelling job, loneliness at this age.. how must be managing?

The cell phone rang for some time..no response… After an hour he returned the call.. He apologised that he could not answer my call..as he had started playing tennis for an hour at his club and meeting friends etc. To ensure he had a good time. He even took a transfer to Pune. So as not to travel anymore

“All well at home?” I asked, He replied, he had appointed a cook.. he paid her a little more and she would buy the groceries and provisions. He had appointed full time caretakers for his aging parents. “Managing well…kids are fine. Life is returning to normalcy”..he said.

I barely managed to say a couple of sentences and we hung up.

Tears welled up my eyes. My friend remained in my thoughts… She had missed the school reunion for a minor ailment of her mother in law. She had miss her nieces wedding because she had to supervise the repair work in her house. She had missed so many fun parties and movies because her children had exams she had to cook she had to take care of her husband’s needs. She had Always looked for some appreciation and some recognition.. which she never got.

Today I feel like telling her.. No one is indispensable. And no one will be missed.. it is just the play of our mind. Perhaps it is the consolation.. A symbol of our understanding if you would like to call it that… That’s the problem of putting others first.

You have taught them that YOU COME SECOND

After her death two more maids were hired and the house was in order….We only measure our respect and our value.. ain’t that true?

Then do enjoy life.. Remove the frame of mind that I am indispensable and without me the house will suffer..

A simple message to all #Ladies :

* Most importantly make time for yourself.. the ME time.. the time for the self..

* Get in touch with your friends… Talk, laugh and enjoy

* Live your passion, live your life

* Once in a while do things that love to do

your life is precious😇

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RAKHI PATIL

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