Having lost a loved one very recently, life itself has become a burden. The memories have become a heavy baggage that I am bound to drag along for the rest of my life. The person was one of the rarest people who belonged to my innermost circle and death of this person has just left my very existence numb. It feels as if I was an expecting mother who have nurtured her baby in her womb with her own blood for 9 long months (millions of moments!). She just delivered a stillborn and is doomed to carry the dead body of her child for as long as she breaths. 

Being honest, when an actual challenge comes up in life, all Wisdom take the back seat. I have contemplated of committing suicide but I WON’T. Taking a decision to free myself from this life would directly mean that my surrender to my Guru is not absolute.

Hence, I have come up with a ‘to-do’ list to pull myself out of this ordeal. If anyone of my spiritual family here is going through any challenge in life, of any kind, I firmly believe that this ‘to-do’ list will help. It has been just 2 days and I have started noticing substantial difference in me. 

1) EXERCISE – Any form of exercise be it Power Yoga, Aerobics, HIIT, Running, Swimming, Cycling. It helps in draining the extra emotional energy out that we have accumulated inside us. I run and run until I gasp for breath. 

2) FEED THE DOGS (Or any animal which you can connect to)- When we serve any living creature, we increase the Saatvik or Pure Energy inside us. If we go into a room that full of light, with a little bit of darkness in our palm, the darkness is bound to vanish. Similarly, in the light of the Divine Energy, suffering and afflictions are bound to fade away. (Have you noticed how Seers and Avdhootas like Gajanan Maharaj of Shegaon, Shri Dattatreya, Sai Baba of Shirdi, Bama Khepa of Tarapith etc. are surrounded by dogs all the time! Kaal Bhairava, a so-called fierce form of Lord Shiva is said to liberate us from all our sufferings (Taap Mochan) is depicted with a dog. Any symbolism here?)

3) READ – It can either be a self-help book or a scripture or even Panchatantra, Vikram-Betaal or Chacha Chaudhary for all I care! Just pick up any book from your kind of genre and start reading. Hold the hand of the writer and embark on the journey of a New World. That is the best thing about books. You can travel to any Narnia and Terabithia you want to without leaving the comfort of your home! I have taken up “Immortal Talks” by an anonymous author (I highly doubt that he is self-realised!) pen-named as Shoonya (literally meaning Nothingness! I am absolutely in love with the name!). If you are interested in Tribal Culture, Philosophy, Harry Porter like stuff, Dream Interpretation, Immortals, Spirituality, Wisdom, Parallel Universe, Psychology, legends and folklores then this one is a must read.

4) LISTEN TO PEOPLE (BEST, STRANGERS) WITHOUT JUDGING THEM – This has been by far the most healing thing that happened to me. Listening someone without judging what they say even a tad and being able to quieten the ever-chattering mind while doing so has been nothing less than a meditation for me. Plus, you get to have a different perspective on life everytime you listen to someone’s anecdotes.

5) LEARN A SKILL OR ART – Music, painting, crafts, DIYs, cooking anything will do. Even Science says, ‘Energy can neither be created nor be destroyed. It can just be converted from one form to other’. How can we beat Science? How can we beat Universal Laws? How, on earth, can we ‘destroy’ the pain which is nothing but emotional energy! Just transform the emotional energy into creative energy.

This person, whom I lost to death, had the most enchanting voice I have heard and probably I will ever hear. Initially, I was running away from Music so as to escape the memories. But then, I realised we can never really escape Life, can we? The thing we try to escape is the thing we will collide with every single time. Solution? Acceptance. I accepted the fact that the person is no more and might never come back in this life. Through Music, I still have a chance to keep the person alive in my heart. As a gift for the beautiful moments I lived with this person, I have started learning Music. While I know I can never be as good as that person was, I can at least try to sing decently.

The person used to laugh lovingly saying, “You sing like Kabir is reciting his dohas!” At least, I can try to be a more melodious Kabir who sings and doesn’t merely recite. 

6) os.me – I have increased my visits to this site.

* Gurudev’s blogs are tight hugs and it feels I can claim for as many hugs I need by reading as many blogs as I need to.

* Members’ blogs are a constant boost of energy and positivity. Everytime I read a blog, happy or sad, I pray for the person’s wellbeing. It feels I still have a community whom I can always run to and I will be accepted. All is not lost and there are beautiful souls I can call “My Tribe…My Family”.

* Writing on os.me purges me every single time. Writing here feels like taking a dip into Mansarovar. Everytime I complete a blog, my entire being sheds its coil like a snake and becomes new!

7) VITAMIN ‘N’ – Who is Nature? What is Nature? She is none other than Divine Mother Herself! 

मूल प्रकृति अव्यक्ता, व्यक्त – अव्यक्त स्वरूपिणी।
(She who is the primordial cause behind the entire Universe. The unmanifested One who has manifested Herself in everything manisfested and unmanifested, visible and invisible).

Make it a routine to take a walk amidst the Nature and the Cosmic Mother will embrace us in no time. There, in Her arms, lies the real and ultimate peace which can never be found otherwise. 

“The Creatrix, who rocks the cradle of this infinite universe, has place for us in Her lap. Let’s jump in!”

At last, immense surrender to His/Her will. I owe everything to Gurudev and I am consecrating everything at His lotus feet. Until His hands are on our heads, no harm in the three worlds can destroy us. Every time we stumble, His all-powerful hands will lift us up. I could even think of surviving it all is because He had my back, He still has….Swamiji.

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