There are some situations that really makes us think about choosing how to approach that particular situation.

Death is one of them that demands us (atleast me) to decide on a particular approach. Let’s say, whenever a relative or friends’ parent expires, this makes it difficult to think of what to do to uplift their near and dear ones or atleast console them.

The society has been so conditioned to talk that we can’t remain silent even in funeral. Even I am affected by this conditioning that I also used to talk at funeral or during the last rites. (although less than others)

Mind really finds silence uncomfortable; for this mind compels us to chit-chat even in situations that demands silence.


The Decision

Now, I will take the option of ‘Silence’ as I think it is the best option for everyone involved. Ideally, I would like to visit their house, give them a hug and remain silent as much as possible, for silence allows healing( in my observation) and as i have observed, everyone will talk more or less the same thing about the deceased person and it will only bring up more and more memories of that person, thereby will only make their near and dear ones more sad. In my observation we should only speak during the funeral(and post 11 days), if it is necessary to facilitate the work, otherwise we should aim to practice silence.

I really can’t fake it and repeat the clichéd – ‘Ohhh, I really felt bad after listening the news of the demise of their loved ones’ and leave it there only. There’s nothing that comes from my heart, except giving a hug and remaining silent (as much as I can) in these situations.

Being silent is the way of conveying that I don’t have anything meaningful to say that will pacify you, however I won’t say anything that will hurt you.

Since the pandemic has begun; it has become more awkward for me to talk on the phone(introverts know this), as earlier i would show up at the funeral; now that has been taken away. The pandemic has thrown me into a catch-22 situation, where neither i can talk to the impacted relatives, as I honestly can’t come up with something to say that can pacify the impacted individual nor do I send a message as people will assume that I am arrogant that I can’t even talk to them while their loved ones have passed away.

The best thing i feel is to hold a 1 minute breath awareness session, while on the phone with the impacted individual, so that silence can take over and provide the healing. And i honestly don’t know how they will feel or react to it, if i suggest them this session, so i prefer not to talk and let my mummy talk on the phone to the concerned person.



Time may or may not heal everything;

Silence certainly will, if we learn to embrace it.


What do you usually do in this situation?


Is there anything better I/we can do in this situations?


P.S. – This post is just a suggestion, and I know that remaining silent during funerals is easier said than done.

Being silent isn’t insensitive in my perspective. And I offer my sincere apologies to anyone who may have found this post promoting insensitivity.

Thank you for reading. 🙏🙂

Image source – Pixabay


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Pratik Wadhwa

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