When I visited the ashram, I met and became friends with quite a few like-minded devotees. One of the devotees I met remarked that “Mahamaya I don’t feel angry anymore at my (not revealing). It’s like Swami Ji has swept anger away from my mind” I couldn’t agree more. 

Numerous circumstances creep up from time to time during the day, week, month and year that one shall be pushed against the wall. When that happens, my advice would be to pause. I have had enough experience to give this unsolicited advice. But if you choose to take this, you will thank me later. When you pause, your mind changes from being reactive to becoming responsive. 

I hardly ever feel angry. I might be assertive and strictly tell people what they ought to do, that’s because if I don’t do so, most people will run over me and take me lightly. When one lives in a society, one has to act in a manner which is conducive to oneself and others.

I am assertive when it comes to my professional life otherwise it becomes difficult to function. Having said that, being assertive ought not to turn into becoming aggressive. Swami Ji always supports the idea of being assertive when the need so arises. This does not mean one ought to be rude, angry or disrespectful for that matter. 

Now, how do you not get angry? Let me help you find the way ahead. My articles ought to show you the light, I want these posts to help you. A few devotees have come to me for guidance on various matters of their life. Nobody knows who comes to me and who I speak to. That’s because I heavily believe in privacy. Swami Ji himself had told Swami Vedananda Om that he should never reveal to anyone the names of people who come to meet Swami Ji. I follow my Guru, my Master on this as also with everything else in my life. 

Let’s look at some easy to follow techniques to reduce anger. 

1. Pause – how do you pause you may ask. First and foremost try to speak as less as possible in general. Speak only when you ought to and when there is a need. Otherwise learn to practice silence. When you practice silence consistently, automatically when a fire-filled situation arises, your reaction time slows down. When you pause something beautiful takes place. Hop on to the next point to know more about it. 

2. Respond and not react – When you respond to a situation it means you act according to the scenario that is playing in front of you. What happens is you are acting from the point of caution at that point in time. Either you can choose to explain your viewpoints to the person concerned or don’t even have to respond at all.

Reaction sort of boils your system like water or milk (imagine any liquid in the oven). No war is won by physical prowess alone. Then how does one not react you may ask? You feel flustered, frustrated and deeply hurt at how the person in front has been treating you. It could be your parent, boss, friend, spouse, child – anyone at all. Read on to find out how to not react. 

3. Walk away momentarily – Imagine there is a lot of fire burning down everything. My view is that there is no point in fanning the fire meaning thereby that a war of words may not always be helpful unless you are participating in a debate or a MUN competition. It is better to change the path temporarily and walk away for the time being. What does walking do? Will that automatically resolve pending issues? No. But to know what happens if you walk away, read the next point. 

4. Silence – Silence is a powerful language. What words may fail to express can be understood by silence. Does that mean in a professional or personal set-up, you keep being silent when there is abuse going on? No. This entire post is not for scenarios like sexual abuse, bullying etc. This post is on how you conduct yourself on a day to day basis in a general set-up. 

5. Spiritual Practice – Any form of spiritual practice whether it’s Japa, Dhyana, Arghyam, etc, helps one keep calm. Pick any of your choices and keep practising it. Even if you aren’t religious or spiritual for that matter, practice yoga and/or pranayam. 

6. Watch what you watch – Any form of emotion that you have is most likely a form of psychic imprint. For you not to be angry, kindly watch what you watch or read for that matter. Whatever you consume will come out in some form or the other. If you watch movies that show anger or read books that highlight anger (in the form of the protagonist) practising it, please re-think. This is all getting added to your subconscious memory and likely to remain stored there. Anger will manifest in some form or the other.

7. Post walking away – Drink some water. Splash some water on your face. Go for a nice walk in and around where you are (where cars are not speeding past you) and feel the air around you. Listen to some nice music and try to rest your overactive mind by mentally trying to forgive the person. There is a method by which one can forgive completely, that’s a post for another day. 

There you go – 7 actionable points. Take one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race. What you need to do is commit to a path of self-purification and self-development.  Obstacles will come but you will have to keep marching ahead. Remember anger is like poison and you are the one eating it but expecting the other person to die. It’s never worth being so angry and vindictive. Rise above your psychic imprints and tendencies. It will happen. I am convinced you are a good soul and great things are in store for you. 

Wishing you lots of love and gratitude,