Currently we are living in one of most developed cities in my state However, originally we are from a village nearby which is notorious for its bad culture, unsafe environment, crime and ruckus that people create every now and then.
For past few years the trend has been that most families say that “we are going to leave this place and live somewhere else, this place is just not worth it anymore and it is a bad influence on our children”. My family left predominantly because of the environment.
Foe as long as I can remember boys were always treated as a superior species over there even if there is a young couple expecting a child people will always come and bless them that “may you get a male child” and there were so many couples who already had a daughter in the family and now the couple was eagerly waiting, praying for and desperately wanting a male child because apparently having a male child is a necessity. Not only that wherever I saw there was not much pressure on the boys to study hard, work hard and on the top of that most of the familes were loaded with money due to their lands and properties.
Most of the people are not well educated over there and while I do agree that all the parents always want the best for their children still many parents spent a lot of money in giving the boys bikes, expensive cars and mindless cash flow. It was a common sight to see the boys running around creating unnecessary ruckus in the streets and picking small little fights here and there till now it was still relatively normal, it was not an ideal environment in any sense of the term but it was livable nevertheless.
Fast forward a few years one day we come back home and from school and I hear that there is a guy in the neighborhood who is severely injured because of some dispute that he had with some other bunch of guys. I am not able to make much sense of what is going on so I asked my sisters and apparently there was a dispute between two families and there was a clash in which one person got particularly injured and was in ICU for a couple of days.
That was the first instant when I saw or heard about violence in such raw form, strangely enough I was not really scared at that time on the contrary I was curious about what was going on I wanted to know what it all meant and make sense of it all. But the story doesn’t end there because there was a dispute between these two families after some days we hear that now this family where the person got injured few days back has apparently taken some sort of a revenge and they hurt a guy from the other family.
it was more like a tit for tat, in both cases police was informed involved and police took heavy bribery in out in the open and not much happened, no one went to jail, no one got punished the cases were just shut down after the village panchayat decided to bury the hatchet.
Then we hear that a bunch of guys from our village had some major Spat with a bunch of guys from another nearby village. By now the curiosity about it is gone and it is replaced with the sense of fear and disgust I understand what is going on and do not wish to be a part of this environment but there is not much choice so I choose to just ignore it. Then this was a common occurrence this did not happen once or twice in fact on an average I would hear it every month or so that somebody is getting hurt physically and things like that, as time passed and I reached my college years things did not change for the better they change for the worse rather.
Because earlier it was always like somebody causing somebody a physical harm but now things escalated to such an extent that someone died in the village. Again overall it was a matter of some dispute going on and I’m not entirely sure who did what but the fact that someone was killed.
It was in fact a big deal and it was a high time that we leave that place but now to the situation is that 9 out of 10 boys over there are not well educated, some are in their doing well in their lives no doubt but the remaining ones are just directionless: even the ones who did not go astray and who did not become violent. who did not become criminal minded even they are directionless in their lives as to what to do.
Their best option is to just manage their parental property and it would be foolish for me to generalize that everybody dislikes it or that everybody is stuck in the situation may be some of them are fine with that. In fact maybe some of them made this choice but I can vouch for the fact that it was a cultural thing.
Doesn’t matter how good the upbringing is some people always go astray it seems but if the majority is going astray then it is a cultural phenomenon- then it is not some one off incident. Strangely enough even now when the women talk among themselves no one seems to pinpoint it to the way the children are brought up in the village everybody seems to just blame the money, the environment, the culture and the fact that “all children are like this only these days, they don’t care about their parents ” I don’t really accept this kind of generalizations it makes me really sad to this this status quo over there.
Is it already too late? While raising our children we must not forget that freedom without responsibility is a dangerous thing. Giving our children more stuff, resources and money is not going to make them better and stronger individuals. if you really want to raise them as strong individuals we have to spend our quality time with them and try and instill a long lasting value system that is what will help them to sail through life’s challenges in the long run.
Jai shree hari