Have you been ditched by someone at the last minute? You wanted to spend time with them and instead landed up feeling lonely, rejected?
‘Our plan for today stands cancelled’ Viha informed me over the phone. I was getting ready as we were supposed to meet in a little while. I said okay right then but as things sank in a few minutes later I was upset.
Me and Viha are close friends and stay in adjacent societies. Due to the lockdown, we hadn’t met for some time. I was so looking forward to meeting her. We had fixed our meeting at my place 2 days prior and I had re-worked my schedule to spend time with her.
But now the entire afternoon loomed in front of me. I felt my mind kicking into its ranting gear as it began –
Too hot! My foot! Viva had cancelled our plan as she felt it was too hot as it was a bright summer afternoon. It’s the summer so ofcourse it is going to be hot! What’s new about it? Didn’t she know that when we put our plan in place? How could she cancel the plan just like that at the last minute? The distance between our houses is barely a 12 minutes’ walk at best so what a pithy excuse?
Next I was into lamenting mode – I had made her special snack and her favorite mango milkshake who was going to consume that now? My time was wasted. I had been looking forward to a good chat, connecting to her, some laughter and a relaxed couple of hours. All my hopes were dashed. Everything was down the drain.
I was filled with this sinking disappointing feeling and restlessness lurked inside me.
I suddenly recalled a past event when she had left me hanging the same way but atleast the excuse was genuine …ohh I am never again going to trust her again. I am not even going to speak to her again…
But then what about the occasions when she had made it and I didn’t. As I thought back there were a couple of occasions where I had to cancel. She had been so understanding.
Hot ! I still couldnt’ digest this though. Is that a reason? At least the reason for ditching me has to be genuine. Mindfulness crept in silently and I thought why was I wasting my time in this manner?
Why don’t I just call her? It would be good to get things sorted. What was important my pride or friendship? I remembered all our happy moments and the many times she had been there for me. Was this little disappointment worth our friendship?
Abandoning my pride, I picked up the phone. I told her about the snack and the drink and my dashed plans.
Of course, she didn’t know I had gone to all the trouble of making the snacks. She said she was sorry profusely and that she too missed our meeting. I felt so much better hearing that. She then revealed that wasn’t feeling well and hence she hadn’t wanted to visit me. OMG! what a misunderstanding this could have been.
Mindfulness has really helped me deal with such minor disappointments which otherwise would have consumed a lot of my energy. It also helped me in salvaging an important relationship which otherwise would have been so easy to wreck.
I made a resolve to be more aware when I call someone to inform them of last-minute cancelled plans. They may be really looking forward to my visit and may have kept their various plans aside for me.
I spent the rest of the afternoon with my family enjoying both the snack and the drink. Cheers!