I offer my humble obeisance to you Rev. Sri. Om Swamiji 🙏🕉🌺

“IF TRUTH BE TOLD” this soulful and heartwarming memoir by you Sri. Om Swami Ji has awakened me to speak my Truth each time, which I always have loved doing all my life and this platform provided by you gives me the strength to express. The spiritual family here is amazing.
Yes there is a difference between being brutally honest and being decently honest, and it is this very decent Truth of our life that opens up to, not only the heart of the experiencer but spreads and conveys its message as a messenger of Divine, in the form of kindness, compassion and  goodness to the Universe,

Amidst all that is on, not just the current scenario,  life surely tests  your inner integrity, your grit, your strengths, which we truly are, or  claim to have built up on our path full of blossomed Blessings, without ignoring the dried bushes of parched scanty emotions   which stand tall in all their vanity too, after all it’s always been part of each one of us at some point or the other  on a lesser or more degree. But to evolve for better is the best choice we must make till our last breath.

Our very own home enlightens us…

Day before was a beautiful day, but towards evening it became a bit fateful. It was as usual a long day for my daughter , my son in law has been on leave for 2 weeks now, and they happened to order some Chinese food . Though I hardly eat outside food I just thought of giving company to my kids. Barely 20 mins of having it I had severe abdominal pain and it so happens that whenever something serious is about to take place with my health, I start to sense it beforehand. So I came out of my room called my daughter and informed her of the severity of my pain and uneasiness and that,  I might throw up.
Both of my son in law and daughter came out and sat on the couch with very cold looks. A bucket was kept near to me, just in case, as I was a bit shaky, unable to move and so sat down on the edge of a big reclining chair. Suddenly I started sweating and my body started to get cold, I could barely voice what I was feeling , though I did ask my daughter to switch on the air con which would enable me to breathe properly. Strangely, she did not move and asked her husband to do the needful. That truly was an uncalled moment for me. And then I started throwing up. I almost threw up for 10-15 times, it was that bad. The  only thing I remember asking for help from my daughter, to catch hold of my hand but she remained seated , too tired to get up, gave a vague look and told her husband“ how long is this going to go , I can’t take care of her”.

In the meantime I had slipped into a calm fainted state, reclined back on the chair , with no energy , for it felt that death was close by. There was this sense of immense stillness and for few seconds I did not even know I was there. After few mins I could see my daughter pulling my hand to take me in my room, but I was unable to move myself. I could only gather myself after good 20-25 mins and slowly managed to lie on my bed. I am still recovering, a bit anxious , trying to maintain my inner balance , for no matter with age sometimes we start loosing our inner grip. I know this is a passing phase.

But what a way of Sri Hari to make me experience such a near death experience , it felt good. I could literary feel something going out of my body and everything was still.
There is no hurt for my kids who reacted so indifferently, for I felt they are so baffled in their own battles of life that existence of being humane  is lost for them . I always have this faith, that if you have instilled the right virtues and values in your kids, even if they get carried away with insensitivity, one fine day they will come back home better and wiser. May Sri Hari Bless them and may beautiful wisdom and compassion prevail in them.

My sharing this experience is not to gain sympathy but a simple pure truthful message, that no matter what the situations , life will never stop to surprise and test you. We need to strengthen our very  being keeping all faith in The Divine will.  Above all we must constantly keep feeding our senses with the right environment  too or else we face the consequences .

All my life I have been very strong, very determined but past few years I dreaded being alone or rather dying alone, and hence had made a conscious decision to leave India and join my daughter for good, after almost 12 years of isolation . But there is this Supreme Power that made me  go through this very tunnel that I was avoiding and eventually revived in me that the Truth has to be experienced and lived and not escaped. Anything that we dread or fear will bring forth its lesson as a learning, for us to overcome with strength.

Each day comes with Divine intervention and  creation , a creation of new mind, creation of new body , creation of new emotion. A creativity that keeps us alive, and kicking.  Creativity that keeps us warm and hugged, Wakes us up each day to our own reality, holding a barometer that tests how the time tested pressures keep us in balance, pure and true to our ownself. Above all the Divine intervention that awakens us to make wise conscious choices either to get in, stay or to let go and breathe.

And breathe I shall, am finally looking for a place in Solan close to Sri Hari and our Rev. Sri. Om Swamiji , and this time its my right choice , with the help of a very dear friend, whom I have not yet met and can’t name her without her permission. Equally gracious of my son Karan who is going to buy this small home for me in India.

Initially I was giving a thought of shifting to Bombay where I have some very dear and caring friends but my son was taken aback when I mentioned Solan to him, and asked “ why not Mumbai , you would feel safe there as you have people who are close to you “, and I replied “ well at the moment too I am with my own people , has it driven me to safety or otherwise !” Let death come graciously washing away any left over traces or  residues of fear and expectation.
This Covid period is a Grace period granted by Divine to test  my will, my spirit and same goes for my daughter and son in law, as I have to stay put till the time International flights resume. He Knows It All🙏🕉

With each one’s good wishes and Sri Hari Blessing me,  I shall cherish and take with me a graceful breath and life🙏🕉🌺

 

Just saw this video of Sri. Om Swamiji yesterday and it made me smile 🙂 yes, live like a pauper but die like a Queen/King🦢

Jai Sri Hari🙏🕉

Divine Bless All

Siddhika Umesh

Serve , Serve and Serve 🕉

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Siddhika

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