This write up would be a sequel to this post.
We feel all these emotions. Have you investigated why and where these emotions come from? If you are observant and trace your emotions backwards, after a few attempts you might start noticing that they were felt because you were thinking a certain way or to say it another way you were following a certain thought process.
Suppose you are feeling sad. If you are observant then you will see that before you felt sad, you were thinking of unfairness, injustice, helplessness etc. If you are really observant then you will be able to notice your emotions brewing with your thought process sometimes hours and sometimes even days before it happens ( this is different for different people and emotions- so this statement may not be true completely )
From a trigger thought to that thought becoming a full blown, unstoppable reaction is just time. If you follow a certain train of thought for a while then it will manifest in your body the corresponding feelings, which is what we call an emotion in due time – if it is not stopped.
You cannot stop an emotion from manifesting after a point in this process. It just has to carry itself out because you have set something in motion and it has caught momentum.
So how does this help us?
It is the key to responding to a situation and not reacting. It is also the key to controlling your inner world especially if you want to stay away from negative emotions like hate, judgements, sadness etc.
How do I stop it, you ask?
Using your meditation skills/ observation skills/contemplation skills, once you know the above pattern then as soon as your inner world starts getting affected by some low rumbles because of the patterns of thoughts you are following, you can become alert. At that point you can consciously distract yourself if the thoughts have not yet manifested as emotion.
If they have or if you think that the emotion is valid because it needs to be released then you can jump into the technique in the last post of being fully present but not buying in to the emotion. Which means just think of yourself as that awesome friend who is by your side when you are bawling or complaining or frustrated or angry or sad etc. A silent and most compassionate kind observer friend.❤️
tip: when you are observing yourself, you do not react or buy in to the feelings. Just be with yourself silently and compassionately. So when you are angry vow to observe yourself and not act on your anger. When you are sad just let the emotion come to the surface but stop any distractions like blame or anger at another etc.
It might help if you think of the emotion as an energy that is looking for a release and you are simply the conductor of that energy.
Why do you need to respond instead of react?
Reactions if you notice are just the default way we have learnt to deal with an emotion. This is highly conditional and is different from one person to another. Eg. When I am sad I might become quite . You might start talking non stop.
It is just a distraction to not see or feel the emotion in the first place. When you respond to something, you are ready to face that emotion or circumstance head on and take that small step to take care of yourself while validating yourself.
Can you always have control on this process ?
I think probably not. Sometimes thoughts and triggers hit us from left field and you have no control. When that happens just be be fully present with yourself and allow yourself to feel everything you are feeling. (More on this in the above paragraphs – sorry this write up is not so organised) The more you can be present and let yourself feel everything that is arising in the moment the faster you can be over that pattern in your emotional world. Which only means that it cannot trigger you into a reaction anymore.
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