“What will you do now?”, managed to address somehow.
I was quite shaken. I took a deep breath and looked at him.. Wow! What a charming smile he had. He hooked his right eyebrow,and answered
“What I always do!”, he laughed loudly & disappeared.
I kept bringing in my consciousness.
I started picking up some noises. Then a big voice I realized
“Papa.. Wake up!”
“Neha?! Is that you?”
“Yes, your stupid daughter worried & cried because you jumped into the flame. “
I tried opening my eyes, but I was unable to open for long. I got to know that I am in some hospital.
My dear daughter,Neha.. Was crying.
I shouted out,
“Tell me that baby is okay!”
“The baby is completely alright, but your daughter is crying, can’t you conceive about her?”
Though she knew the sort of work I do, was unable digest the situation, i.e. I was injured & lying on a bed like this.
“Neha, I have something to tell you.”
She started ignoring my words advisedly. Ticking off some papers, maybe the medical reports of me.
“I know papa, what you are going to say!”, she hesitated, looking at me & whispered – “You will say, It is my duty, you will feel proud even if I die etc etc..”
“Papa.. You need to get some rest. I don’t want to hear anything”
“I have something really interesting!”
“OK, say it!” ..
I took a little pause. It truly was not intentional. But I was a strong non believer of the god. An atheist like me was saying
“God exists!”
She looked at me blankly. Astonished! Came closer to me again. I place it in different words
“I do believe, he does exist”
“Papa, you asked me one question few days before. Do you remember? “
“I do. I asked you, If god exists, then why he let innocent people die. And you didn’t reply that time. I believed I was the winner of that argument.”
“What brings you change in your belief? “
She was pleasantly surprised.
“I had a misconception Neha, I was separating me from him.”
“Papa, I had no clue what to say about your question that day. I am not getting what are you saying now as well! “
“Nehaa..” I grabbed her hand gently.
She took hold of my hand as well. It was a very emotional moment for both of us.
But I ought to say the words which came in my mind. I made it my habit because the sort of job I was doing. No assurance of ‘tomorrow’, I was living every day as the last day of my life. I had no choice!
I started telling her-
“The one who is born, going to be dead someday. It’s not about questioning God about not saving innocent people, it’s about doing something for people before you die.”
“How did you start believing in him?“
“Because I witnessed him”
“How does he look like?”
“Just like me !”
She was stunned after hearing my words. I made her read the medical reports of me seriously this time. May be she was searching if I have any brain injury! She never saw me praise any god. And I was completely different than before. I realized if the god is the destroyer then a creator as well.
Neha started smiling slightly. It was her victory after all, for all of the arguments I made out with her.
“People will be surprised to catch you praying”
“Won’t you pray?”
“I didn’t say that”
“Come-on papa! I know you won’t demand anything of him. But thank him!”
“I will thank him!”
“What will you do?”
I just closed my eyes. I started imaging me in my uniform. Committed myself to stay fearless & save as much as lives I can.
I smiled & lifted an eyebrow, answered the question of her –
“What I always do!”