My friend wife suffers from Dementia and her health is progressively deteriorating…. that the first oxymoron….. progressive and deteriorating…

He gave up his high fly job in IT to care of his wife with a medical condition about which there isn´t enough Information…. 2ND situational oxymoron

His only choice was to take care of his wife. As if he had a choice. 3rd oxymoron from life , being a compassionate human. For the last 7 years,  This has been his working vacation… Working to care and nurse his wife and a vacation from his vocation…. Another life’s oxymoron

His sister in law suggested a few years back to transfer his wife to a care home……he was deceptively honest to refuse to even consider it. … Honest to his wife lead him to believe that it would be deceptive to send her away.  That another life’s oxymoron. 

Her condition kept on growing worse…. Another oxymor….

Then came a time when she couldn’t communicate or respond. She hurt herself and couldn’t tell about it. When he found out, he was shaken and terribly strong. … Life wants us to act in strong in terrible situations… Thats clearly confusing oxymoronic. 

He realised that he cant take care of her at home because given the condition she would need more professional help than the loving care he could give. What a sweet misery life presents … 7 years of love and care comes down to nothing… Life is oxymoronic more than we realise. 

Finally he decides to send her away. Searches for the best care home he could get , put her there after a whole lot of deliberation.  On the way back, the strength of the man gives up and he cries infront his teenage daughter. He must have felt alone together with his daughter at the seperation  , a seperation which probably bought the daughter more closer to realise that his crying father is more caring and loving that the world may not see… Life is oxymoronic… It’s the separation which makes us realise gow close we are to someone. Its the seperation which strengthens the bond of love. 

When he was sharing some of those moments , his moist eye and chocked voice was making an unsuccessful attempt of hiding behind a smiling face. We men are biggest oxymoron after life itself. Its a foolish wisdom to hide our feeling and appear strong , some may say.  

I was happily sad

Sad to see him moved, happy to know that a new life will unfold now which bring him some joy.  That me another oxymoron who is trying to see the good in the bad. 

The world will talk about his act from their own biases, some will call him tactful insensitive… Some will call it helpless caring, either ways he acted upon what life threw at him with seemingly opposite stands at different point in time. This is life, the oxymoronic life. What was right then appears to be  wrong act now even though the underlying feeling of care and compassion drove it then and now. Probably thats why a RAK, a simple compassionate act gives us more freedom amd upliftment than all the smartness and intelligence of world could. Lets be at peace with this oxymoronic life as long as we are true to our inner self, to the principles of gratitude and compassion. 

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Vejay Mehta

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