Everything, according to Swami Ji, returns to its source. A person who is born is obligated to die. But what occurs when we see death? If I had asked this question two years ago, the answer might have been more complex and varied. However, this pandemic had brought us all together, and the majority of us had experienced the sorrow of seeing our loved ones pass away in front of our eyes.

Is there something different about us now? When I ask individuals if they have changed, they reply yes, but when I ask what has changed, they have no idea.

I first felt it in 2003/04, when my older brother was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, which is still an incurable disease. I had no idea it was serious and would result in death at first. I continued to accompany him from one hospital to the next in search of answers, only to be disappointed.

Finally, he was accepted into PGI Lucknow, and the experiments began. In 2005, he drew his final breath after suffering from tremendous mental trauma. I was standing beside his bed, and the worst part was that his mind and consciousness were fine but his body was dying.

I recognized that the pain I was experiencing was mental rather than physical. I discovered something dying in myself as well, and while I had no idea what it was until today, I was able to connect the dots and realize that it was the mind, not the body, that was struggling. Finally, the body returns to its source, the “panchamahabhutas,” or five elements. Prithvi (Earth), Jal (Water), Agni (Fire), Vayu (Air), and Akash are the five elements (Space). These five elements are responsible for the creation of the entire cosmos.

The soul is still free. I’m healed.