Have you ever struggled to answer a simple question like, ‘what makes me happy?’ There are just too many things to pick from. Well, this might help you get a new perspective to look at such scenarios/questions.
The other day, I asked my friend,
“What would you be able to forgive in a relationship?” She was unable to say a word! There are just so many probabilities. How can you name all of it? Realizing my wrong choice of words, I just tweaked it a little bit a few seconds later.
“What would you ‘NOT’ be able to forgive in a relationship?”
“Oh! Infidelity, lack of respect, breach of trust,” etc.,
The answers flowed like a stream of water.
I first became aware of this notion in a podcast on investing! What’s the best way to select stocks? Everyone is trying to answer that, but have they?
The suggested ‘solution’ was not to touch the ‘bad’ stocks. It’s much easier to identify bad stocks than good ones because they are more prominent. For example, bad accounting, lousy management, penny stocks, poor history, etc., are more obvious to point out. It’s always simpler to discard than curate.
I feel the same principle of discarding the negatives can be applied to other areas of life. Look at these two questions.
What gives you peace of mind?
What robs you of your peace of mind?
In my practice, I found it much easier to answer the second question—deceiving someone, sleeping at odd times, an uninteresting work project, etc. The instances in the latter are much more evident for me to understand. The questions are endless. The don’ts are always easier to point out than the dos
As they say, When things aren’t adding up in your life, start subtracting.