Just a month after the Astrology workshop in Delhi I got another chance to see and meet Swamiji In February 2020. I had implored my father many times and had been trying to convince him for over a month to let me visit Sri Badrika Ashram for my own peace of mind. He was reluctant.
I wanted to book on time so that I could meet Swamiji personally because I was going through a major and weird crisis in my life where nothing was going right for me. But my father was not understanding. Then finally one day after numerous pleas he finally allowed me to visit Sri Badrika Ashram.
I sat on the bus and with a happy mind began my journey. I reached Delhi and the next night began my journey to Solan. At that time, I found Bhaj Govindam series by Swamiji and sitting there on the bus I was ecstatic to read it. The bus stopped at one place and I ate paranthe with white butter and they were yummy.
Then in the morning I reached Solan and from there changed another bus. The bus stopped and I found myself alone in the small market. There was one sweet seller open and I ate jalebis and chai. He arranged for a cab driver for me. But when I heard the price the cab driver was asking for, I was blown away.
I think he took eight hundred rupees from me for a distance of ten or so kilometers. I talked to the cab driver while I was with him in his car and he told me his thoughts on Swamiji. He said that on seeing Swamiji everyone can know there is something special about him. He said he comes to the ashram many times to pick up and drop passengers. Then he told me that he does hard drugs and is satisfied to get to see Swamiji from a distance.
When I reached the ashram, I realized at the reception that I cannot get a personal meeting with Swamiji. I was disappointed. But then I met Sushree Nishtha JI in the ashram. She listened to my kiddish rants and all I had to say. I am thankful to her. I talked to her a lot and she guided me there for the group meeting with Swamiji. I also saw Sushree Diya Ji but then I didn’t know who she was. She was in silence at that time. I didn’t talk to her.
Before the meeting with Swamiji I strolled by the side of the Giri Ganga river. I had my questions jotted down on a note which I had planned to give to Swamiji to read along with my initiation request.
So, I met Swamiji and when I bowed to him, if I remember correctly, I could hear him chuckle. But I was disappointed because I could not talk about my problems with Swamiji. He politely took the note and told me he will read it later. To tell you at that time I was not in a very good mental state. I was full of anxiety, stress, paranoia and what not.
Everything in my life was disbalanced and at that time I went to Swamiji for some solace. But as I could not speak about my problems to him and I am thankful now that I could not (because they were all insignificant), I was so disappointed that I left the ashram before the due date with one gentleman who was leaving in his car. I didn’t even tell Sushree Nishtha Ji at that time though I later messaged her and made an excuse for leaving early without meeting her.
The gentleman left me at the nearest bus station and I came back and, on the way, I was disgruntled, very uneasy and anxious because what looked as my last hope (that Swamiji will guide me in some way) didn’t work out. But now when I look back, time has taken care of everything. I am at a much better space now than I was a year back. It is all Your grace. Thank You Swamiji. I will be back to Sri Badrika Ashram as soon as possible.