1. Neeraj chopra won first  ever gold for India in athletics.  It was just  a news head line, untill, just by chance it became a part of my journey as well.

I understand that as an Indian I must feel some pride, some joy, some thing different today. At least some thing. But can’t deny the reality that I was least affected.  Such is my state of mind these days. Dumb….. Cold….. Neutral…… My vocabulary stops here. “आप तो ऐसे न थे “, a voice  comes and then gets lost in my     P R E S E N T.

Morning time. Breakfast table.

“Papa!  you know last night I prepared paneer bhujia and two paranthas, all by myself. No help. Mama also tasted it.”

Papa – “So ?  You could have kept a bite for me also.”

“For me its no less than Neeraj Chopra’s gold medal”, instantly these words came out from me, although in low volume.

Molly was elated. Just one sincere line of appreciation made her very happy. Her face brightened up like the morning sunrays.

I surely was much happier to see such a sweet transformation in my own daughter.  The one who doesn’t bother herself much with any responsible or praiseworthy act nowadays,  had cooked a delicious meal.   It indeed gave me more joy than the news of Neeraj Chopra’s gold medal.

You know why?  Because all my energies – be it physical, mental , emotional or even spiritual – are these days invested in her and in family’s well being .  I didn’t have anything to do with Neeraj Chopra. Neither I know him, nor I have any contribution  in his win.  And whatever little emotions I have for the country are, nowadays,  pressed deep down, under  the  the pressure of personal life  and its pains.

Such deep is our conditioning and such deep are our attachments!!!! Right or wrong, I don’t know yet. Its a real revealing for me.

During my happy years of life whenever my daughters won,  and it was very often, sports medals, good ranks in school, or certificates of merit, I always felt it as their own well deserved prizes. Never ever had any out of world like emotion that see, MY daughters have won, crossed my mind. One was a National level Skater even. Other a brilliant actor. Both were all rounders,  always seen everywhere in school, be it academic achievements or extra curricular activities.  Their files and our show case  still adorn the  achievements.  But during those days, all this was normal for me.  Their own qualities, interests and efforts brought them applauds.  I was just a mom to them then, and am still the same mom now.  Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed. A deep point for my own contemplation.

There is another angle, another perspective to this, though. Perhaps PAIN is such a powerful emotion that even a smallest of small antidote works like an Olympic Gold🤔 Who knows?

Jai Shri Hari 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

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