Most people focus on their To do List. But often, a NOT to do list is much more effective.
For me, there is one big NOT to do’s that I constantly work on.
NOT COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS.
Because we can never compare apples to apples and most often we compare our worst to someone else’s best. We have no idea about what’s going on in the life of others. We only compare the “part” that we want to compare because our mind has been conditioned that way.
We might be having a nice peaceful day but the moment we see or hear about someone else’s success, a promotion our colleague got, friend getting a new house, neighbor getting a new car or any other random thing, our perfectly nice and peaceful day is suddenly interrupted. Even worse is comparison to people on social media like instagram because all we see if one tiny fraction of their life being portrayed which may or may not be true. The new car in the pic might be a rental, the promotion might have just been a title change with additional responsibilities but same pay! To what crazy ends our minds can wander is really astonishing. Sometimes I joke about all the likes on social media with different cuisines people post, how do we know if its actually delicious without tasting it? ( Partly in jest haha)
The challenge is that it’s also not easy to stop comparing, its years of conditioning that can’t just be uprooted. So I compare myself to how I have grown in different areas of my life over a span of days, months and years. That’s the ONLY true comparison we can ever make because only we know ourselves truly. I love the features on the Black Lotus app because it shows me how I am progressing, especially the PATH feature and that’s one of the big reasons why I have been able to focus on a journey of personal & spiritual growth.
As some of the famous quotes by different philosphers say, comparison to others robs us of joy, its an act of violence against our self. Be yourself, everyone else is taken. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
We can find refuge in these wise words, give it a chance.