Four years ago, when I was sixteen, I ordered “A Million Thoughts” because I wanted to learn meditation and that was the start of my spiritual journey. I instantly started following Om Swami on other platforms such as YouTube. But as I proceeded forward I started consuming a lot of other Gurus’ teachings as well (I respect all of them).Now for me, I always used to do things in their extremes. So the same went with spirituality. Everything everyone said started fascinating me so much. But why was I doing that? Now that I look back at it I think I know the answer -” I was just trying to find that one universal answer that would answer every other question”. I thought my life has now been sorted and I know so much. I stopped studying and started reading so many religious texts. Everything I was doing were under strict rules like waking up at 3 am everyday, meditating, chanting, maintaining mindfulness ( all of which are great in itself but I didn’t need those, I needed to study). Because I didn’t need all this I was not looking for these answers from within me. I think that I used religion and spirituality as either a shortcut to; or as an escaping mechanism from my studies. The rules I implied on myself were just so unbearable and unreasonable too. Every time I would break any rule I would get so deep into guilt and self-doubt. Then one day I decided that I needed to stop because my mental health was deteriorating and I came back to this site ( I am not completely sure but I think this site was named something else back then.) This is one year ago. I decided to seek guidance from one of the life guides Sadhvi Vrinda Om. Getting her perspective was very helpful. I could see some light in those dark times. Then I started on my long journey of what we call life.
I wasn’t sure about this but I am posting two of the questions I asked to my life guide. This is around March last year (2020).
How to restore willpower at lowest point in life?
I am a 19 year old boy who lives in New Delhi. I am at a stage when I can’t perform any task in my life and I am just being lazy when I want to change. Everything was fine earlier but then I got introduced to spirituality and whenever I broke the rules a guilt came in me and made me week in my subsequent tasks. I felt like I have to follow the certain rules and then only I can go about my daily requirements like studying easily. I have also come to a conclusion that all the following all the rules while living a non renounced life is impossible and can easily make a person schizophrenic. This has made me very week because now, whenever I take up a resolve I have a fear that I’ll break it. Please help me with this situation. I want to be normal again. I feel like I am becoming schizophrenic. How do I change myself at this point?
Jai Sri Hari!
Theres no shortcut to hardwork. Anything we want in life, take on a new habit, leave an old one, we have to work towards it. It’s not that you are weak or lazy, you are simply allowing your mind’s chatter to persuade you to not see through your Sankalpa. And the trick is even if you begin and break it midway, don’t give up, see it through the whole 40 days.
Also, it helps to fill your mind with positive stuff, read biographies of famous people in various fields, see how they reached the heights of success. There’s nothing wrong at all. Swamiji always says we take life far too seriously. Just work hard, do the best you can and learn to celebrate small wins. Small wins, joys helps us walk the long road ahead.
God bless you and keep you safe. May Swamiji’s grace be upon you.
All glories to Swamiji!
Posted by Sadhvi Vrinda Om
How to move on during difficult times?
I am at a point in my life right now where everything seems to be scary, my future, my studies and all which makes it specially difficult for me to stand the spiritual beliefs I’ve had and I believed were the answer to everything. They just seem to bind me more now rather than liberating me. Would you say that I should still continue to follow those specific rules or should I just experiment what suits me the best( because I’ve heard a lot of people telling me that you should follow them as they are) ?
Jai Sri Hari!
Thank you for writing in. Swamiji always says that the dharma of a student is to work hard, acquire knowledge. And that should be your primary ritual, in my humble opinion, to amass knowledge of your chosen field and excel at it. Everything else will flow from it. It’s religion that talks about rituals, where as a spiritual person, seeker is not bound by rituals but those practices that help cement his or her connection with Bhagwan.
My advice is that no matter how scary it seems, things always fall in place, if we keep doing the right thing, working hard towards our goal and don’t forget to remember the divine through our prayers. A heartfelt prayer to God is all that’s needed to remain spiritual and become a better person. Our strength too comes from our spiritual beliefs. So, we mustn’t let go of our connect with God. From Him alone all beautiful things and wisdom flows unto us. 😊
May Swamiji’s grace be on you. God bless you and good luck, beta.
All glories to Swamiji.
After that point I realized that I need to distance myself from religion (very important for me) and start focusing on my studies and improving my work ethics. The best way to put it would be “I started taking my responsibilities more seriously than myself “. And that is what gives me joy now.
I have learned a lot about myself and life in general from this experience and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I considered this experience as my most priced possession.
Thank you to Swamiji and the life guides for making a positive impact on me and so many others!