I was feeling very restless since early evening. I noticed that my mind was revolting against studying and I was so close to taking out that frustration on my loved ones. My mind keeps saying nothing is going as planned… no one is there for me and I am going to die all alone, with no one next to me. I see myself trapped in these thoughts sometimes and I distract myself with videos or movies that change my mind and get me back on track.
This evening I tried something new and I must say it gave me some answers that made me calm. Instead of watching a movie, I read some posts on os.me and the comments that I received for all my articles. The encouragement and love that I have received on this platform instantly made me feel like I have so many people with whom I have connected on a deeper level. Then what is my mind complaining about???!
I rest in the fact that I have come alone and I will most definitely go alone, no doubt about it! I realize that ups and downs in our lives are a way of teaching us to find that fine balance and undo some conditioning that we may have carried within us for a long time. While I know intellectually that His plan is any day better than mine, I am still like a stubborn child wanting my way… silly me.
I sincerely love this connection that I am making with so many genuine people and that is what has inspired me to write this article. I would like to thank each one of you for allowing me to know you and be part of your life. I m truly grateful to Swamiji and each one of you for giving me this platform to feel safe to express myself and loved.