As I walked through the busy Mall Road of Solan, a dull, very dull feeling started to cloak me. Nothing seemed attractive, nothing caught my attention. Inside I was blank, sadly not blissfully empty. Although no material thing caught my fancy and that’s not at all a new experience. Its very often that I don’t buy much stuff. But this time LIFE itself was absent in me. I asked myself the reason. No specific response came out except just few may bes. May be I have had my share of ALL emotions possible, all relations possible, all interactions and indulgences possible. May be, may be….. am not at all clear.
A total never before feelings have started to emerge these days. A totally new, unwelcome sense of worthlessness has started making place inside. Suddenly I find myself incapable of doing anything – be it physical like doing something or other or intellectual like even writing few lines in a flow.
I gave myself benefit of doubt by labelling these as process of detatchment. Then a realisation dawned that had it been so, there would have been a better inner world inside. But, its no where to be felt. That blissful peace is missing, that sweet smile on my face is missing, that sense of fulfilment is also missing.
Its a new code which I need to crack.
Its a new phase I need to unwrap. Its a new bunch of feelings, I need to either accept and learn to live with or shed away.
As always, if I get few words of suggestions and guidance from friends here, it might become easy to listen to Nature’s communication.
Jai shri hari❤