This  post I am sharing here is  about the importance of space in the love  relationships and  what I want to emphasize here , after a certain point of time how it becomes necessary to have some breathing space in relationship to avoid dullness  which  creep in inadvertently  with time.

Our  romantic bollywood movies  have prejudiced our mind and created  happy go couple images  ,  who wear same dresses , think alike  ,  dance together  ,do everything together and so on  . Though people  are quite intelligent to understand  such  utopian things do not exist in real life but still somewhere they leave impressions in mind and a craving to do the same .

The initial years of  the marriage , remain filled with  ‘everything together movement’ feeling  and partners  start  shaping themselves in the template of their spouses . Two individuals  who are in love want to spend each moment with each other . (I must add that few couples do this in later years too and for them love means, never get apart.)  It is ok no harm in this but it should not be like a  ‘no escape’ situation for any of them  .  There should be some freedom for each partner  to prevent suffocation in relationship and it does not mean that your bond is weakening . In fact it rejuvenates you and your relationship  as too much closeness sometimes becomes claustrophobic.

As every person is different similarly this  space thing is relative and depends on case to case basis , how much  time someone wants to spend with partner and how much alone  but it should be not like this that the other person start feeling neglected. So there must be a fine balance of time how much  both are giving to their  relationship and how much  in pursuing their own  interests   and can be figured out thru mutual consent.

We do all possible necessary adjustments and sacrifices to keep our spouses happy and our relationship  long lasting.  In doing so , often most of our personal things like our hobbies, passion , interests , further education or dreams of accomplishing something in any  field   , take back seat and we don’t realize this at that time .  But it creates a emptiness later in the life as time once gone, never comes back.

Hence it is essential to dedicate   some time for personal development and growth too while keeping all the priorities of married life in mind and this ascertains strengthening of bond between the partners.

A relationship thrives when it grows with the time and this is not possible without  personal happiness and  growth of the  partners.

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VANDANA JAISWAL

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