The Art of Speaking

Sounds are not just words, they are vibrations of our mind. Words have no significance by themselves, they are just a code to decipher the meaning embedded in them. But sounds are existential. They are energy in the form of waves. Every wave is a certain vibration of energy. Our minds generate that energy…and then we transform it into sounds and then into words. 

So, what we say is only the outcome of what we generate in our minds. Words are thus the outer manifestations of our inner state of mind. So when we say something, we are actually revealing our inner state to some extent. Is it not important to express ourselves in such a way that the listener or audience get deeply touched by our nature? But we don’t think like that. Our behaviours, our actions influence the behaviour of others. So, we should talk, behave and act in such a way that we always have a positive impact on our surroundings. This is absolutely possible, and at the same time, a very beautiful process.

Awareness

If you’re not aware of your own nature, you cannot positively impact others. It’s through our awareness that we become aware of others’ nature. Not the other way around.

Try to be aware of your own actions, behaviour, thought process and how you express yourself. Only when you’re aware of these aspects of yourself, will you be able to positively impact your surroundings. That’s why it’s an art, not a crude process. Art requires great amount of sensitivity and soft skills. Yes, you cannot do that overnight, you have to build your awareness to a certain degree.

There are no hard and fast ways to increase your awareness. It’s an inward process, outside influences have little to do with it. The BEST way to enhance your awareness is to spend time with your own self. Now the question is, how to be with our own self?

It’s one of the most important questions a human being can ask. It is a deeply subjective question, no objective explanation will do justice to it. You try to explore yourself, fail to understand, then try again, experiment with your abilities, get stuck, gather courage, keep exploring, experimenting, and slowly you realise what you are…

Only if it’s a continuous process, do you clearly see the hidden dimensions of your being, your strengths and weaknesses, your desires and fears, your heart and soul. 

For now, just have the awareness to ask a simple ‘what?’ every time you do something. Ask yourself what am I doing?’ and ‘why am I doing what I am doing?’—if you can ask these two fundamental questions every time you do something—physically or mentally—you’ll have a better grip on your actions. Do this at least for a few weeks, consciously. You’ll be much more aware of the way you function in every sphere of your personality. And this will help you understand others better.

Learn to Listen

Listening is the crucible of having a good conversation. A good listener is always a good speaker. Without proper listening, whatever you say is just wasted.

Listen as if you’re learning something new, not to reply with smart answers. Because the purpose of listening is to understand, not to reply. 

Our ability to listen is quite amazing if you realise its potential. But we’re most of the time preoccupied in our heads with what to say next, what not to say and so on. We don’t absorb enough to have a deeper understanding. We just want to express OUR POINT—that’s it. The funny thing is, the other person also does the same thing. It is a very common bias in us. And we fall prey to it. In this situation, is it ever possible to have a meaningful conversation? It becomes just a clash of opinions. To listen without the presence of any opinions, beliefs, prejudices, biases, and of course, ego—is something very few can do. Because it requires great sensitivity and patience to just listen. One who has this ability will be better able to express his own views, with much more depth and impact. He will be more sorted out in himself, and he’ll have enough understanding to influence others.

So, to speak in such a way that it creates an impact on the audience, it is paramount to have a deep sense of listening. Only then, what we say will have a substantial impact on others.

Don’t Just Say, See What You Say

Finally, when you’re about to say something, do it like art. Be an artist, just like a painter with his canvas, or the poet with his pen…have the sense of creating something extraordinary with your words. Don’t just say, say it with a sense of creating something beautiful. If you can clearly see your words—your thoughts behind those words—and can harmonize them just like the concert-master who harmonizes the orchestra, you’ll be doing something very beautiful.

How deeply you can see into your thoughts, will determine how clearly you can articulate them. A painter can only paint if he can clearly visualise the picture. Great visualisation leads to great masterpieces.

So, whenever you speak, don’t just speak, see your spoken world as clearly as you can. This will transform yours, as well as others’ understanding.

Thank you.

Image Credit: istockphoto

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Alok Singha

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