Some years back we went for a pre marriage fixing ceremony to an acquaintance, the girl to be married was 4th daughter of the house and on hearing my father has only One child ,the would be bride s father in astonishment asked what about a Son? My father jokingly said to the Delhi university graduate uncle if i would have waited for a son , i too would have had a line of girls! My mom tells that when she conceived me she thought if she has a son she ll name him Asheesh but my father dearly wanted a daughter and his desire won over hers ,though she never made me any less loved,privileged for and cared for but she says as soon as she brought me home from nursing home ,a Kashmiri neighbour aunty hugged her and cried artificially..koi baat nahi, agli baar larka ho jaega( dont worry you ll get a son next time)! In my whole class of 46 kids there was no single daughter though may be 5 or 6 boys who were only sons! So many people have asked me and my parents weather some of their other child has died or weather they had conception problem the second time! Any ways, i got married for the only reason that i loved children and i wanted to play all the time with my own ( it never stuck my mind i have to feed,clean ,bathe or make them study and will have sleepless nights too) ,I thought of having 2 daughters and pre decided my favourite names for them as Ashi and Nishi! When i conceived my first baby my inlaws were sure we ll have a boy ,there Khandaan according to calculation always had first child as son ,from Great grand father to grand father to father in law ,everyone s first born was a male.Mind u they are post graduates and financialy quite comfortable aswell at times attend Lion clubs meeting to pledge against female infesticide and girl child equal rights! From wearing red clothes while going to hospital for delivery, to not tieing hair while leaving for hospital as well as their sankalp to run in 3 minutes from one park gate to another and i ll have a son ,all failed when i got a Lakshmi ji ( female child).I failed all the theories of water bag bursting before bleeding and having a son or a straight line on navel to have a son ! When my Daughter was born though, she was never neglected by grand parents but always a sorry state and explanation of now girls too take care of parents or are more intelligent or r more sensitive! When a boy is born no one explains. We had our second child 9 years after first both due to no physical help available aswell financially not as compatible to afford 2 kids ,again and again my Stylish, dandy ,educated and uptodate mother in law kept telling i prayed to God.( she is an ardentDevi bhagt) ,either you have son or nothing! I m myself a double post graduate, only child and was working as a manager in an mnc.I was married to a very well educated family but even i had this mental pressure and sadness through out my second pregnancy that if i have a girl ,should she die? We call them Durga ,maa Kaali or Devi Swaroopa but why do we explain when anyone gets a female child? At ashram i met a devotee who was 3rd daughter of her parents and she told me her father dint come to pick her mother from her maternal grandmother s house in anger for 2 months! Have you faced or given such an explanation for your daughters? Or did your parents give it for you?

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