Today, once again, I paid the price for dithering too much. I wonder if this will finally compel me to change my habit? 

Procrastination is an ugly habit that I have been struggling with for way too long. Even when I know exactly what I need to do, I procrastinate. I find a thousand other things to do, give in to the need for perfection and generally find ways to delay what is required of me until it is too late. I did the same with an important submission I had to make.

I began filling out the questionnaire well in time, but obviously, wanted to do a good job of it. So I copied the questionnaire to a document and spent sweet time answering it. In the meanwhile, I questioned the need for me to be submitting it in the first place, researched the topic, thought about the whys and the why nots and so on. Before I knew it days had elapsed. I even spent time referring to the panchang to find a good date and time to submit, something that I don’t usually do nor am fully skilled to do! Eventually, I was ready, had a good time (or so I thought) and excitedly opened the link to submit, only to find that submissions had closed!

Am I upset? Yes. But here’s the interesting thing. As I write this post, I realise that I have already told myself that, “perhaps it was not meant to be. When the time is right, it will happen.” This, I realise is the biggest lie that I tell myself; just another way to not take responsibility and let myself off the hook. 

Sure, life is not always in our control. We have to learn to accept the good with the bad, the changeable with the unchangeable etc. But truth is that most times it is not life or time that is not in our control. It is our habits and attitudes that we are choosing not to control that are the cause of our miseries. That is what needs to change; we need to change. 

Life gives us many opportunities and we keep wasting them for various reasons – fear, lack of resources, lack of time, lack of ability etc. And then we tell ourselves that “it wasn’t meant to be”, “perhaps it is for the best”, “the time is not right yet” and so on.  The truth is that all of these are excuses and tools for procrastination. The only way we can know that it wasn’t meant to be is after we have taken our best shot and yet it doesn’t happen. That’s when we know it wasn’t meant to be. Until then, it’s all excuses. Just think – maybe it was meant to be but we didn’t let it be; maybe we were the ones that foiled nature’s plans.

Obviously, it’s time for me to hold myself accountable and stop hiding behind the excuse of “it wasn’t meant to be”.

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Have not been able to resize the image correctly, despite trying multiple times. For the curious minds, it reads – Life Will Not Wait.  

Photo credit: Photo by Brett Jordan: https://www.pexels.com/photo/wood-typography-photography-blur-7939943/