I used to think and feel that I am a very altruistic person because I want to help people selflessly. I used to believe that I am very selfless person who does most of the things for no ulterior motives.
Once I was talking to a friend and in midst of the talk it came that people do everything for themselves and none other. I was inappreciative about this statement as I believed otherwise. But it was true.
Each and every action by the people is for themselves and themselves alone. It is for their own happiness, for their own peace, for their own joy, for the fulfillment of their own desires.
Be it a robber, or a normal person or a philanthropist, or anybody else, everyone does everything because they are getting something out of it which they want or need.
We love someone because we get something out of them that we need or desire. We don’t love the person per se but what we are getting out of them. We love the feeling, the experience. And similarly, we don’t like or hate something or someone because we are not getting our needs and desires fulfilled.
It is simple to understand this. That’s why it is said that things are temporary in this world especially with relations because till you are getting something out of the other person which you want you will love them and then you may stop loving them.
This world thrives on give and take and so all relations here are transactional. Both parties get something out of the other. It’s not always about money, or other material aspects only. But even togetherness can be a thing which both parties want.
There is no harm and vile about being self-centered because we all are naturally programmed like that.
It’s true that people do everything for themselves but what they do becomes important. What they want from the other, what they need from the other, or what are their desires that they are wishing to get fulfilled becomes the important factor.
And yes, people do somethings also because it’s in their basic nature and not due to any need or want, somethings they do because they have become conditioned, somethings they do because of a motive behind, somethings they do consciously and some unconsciously.