The Two sides of the “Kindness Coin”

We have spoken, heard and done our bit with kindness over last few years, but now is the time for real test. During these unprecedented times, our resolve for being kind will be tested. Everybody on the face of this earth has seen their material resources shrink in varying magnitude. For some it might be just a drop in an ocean, but for some everything they had might have got erased.

We have read and heard stories of how not so privileged people are suffering and what they have been made to go through due to the crisis the world is facing. It is now the responsibility of people in better position to put their helping hand forward and reaffirm the faith in humanity and kindness.

It will not be an easy bargain to chose between yourself and others with limited resources, but the difficulty will exist till we see the difference between us and the others. Eventually its the same living energy (call it atman or Bramham) that dwells in each one of us. We are merely separated by an outer covering of this body, separated by an expanse so small, but wide enough that one side can’t see the other.

“Faith and science, I have learned, are two sides of the same coin, separated by an expanse so small, but wide enough that one side can’t see the other. They don’t know they are connected.” ~ by Mary E Pearson (Book : The adoration of Jenna Fox)

If I look at the act of kindness there are two sides to it, the one who performs the act of kindness and the other is the recipient of the kind act.

These are usually two separate entities until they get connected by one of the most beautiful emotions that living beings can exhibit. An unseen bond is built at that particular moment and a feeling of oneness crawls through the hearts of both. Both sides get connected unknowingly.

There are again two scenarios where kindness connects the two entities i.e. being kind to the people we know & when they expect and random acts of kindness (RAK).

No matter how much happiness one derives on being a recipient of a kind act, one always gets a tinge of the feeling of entitlement when it is done by people we know or in a situation that we expect we might be helped or touched by kindness. Also for the doer there is initial surge of happiness of helping out but there is also a lingering thought that isn’t it my duty to do this act as we are already “connected”.

The surge of emotion and impact becomes more significant when it is a random act of kindness. The feeling is similar to winning a lottery (without buying a ticket 😊) or meeting Santa in middle of a summer. It is just one of the most unexpected things that can only be felt and not be explained.

The feeling is mutual, trust me both the doer and recipient feel equally happy about it. I have heard the same thing from people who have been kind or received kindness, “It just made my day”.

The act of kindness is the means which can make your day and even your life a happier existence. You can be in constant touch with this blissful feeling by dealing in kindness currency.

Now to keep this currency in constant circulation you have to either borrow or deposit. In this case though borrowing (i.e. being a recipient of kindness) is not in one’s hand. You can’t wait for somebody to be kind to you to experience the bliss. So, the only other way to experience the same bliss is by being kind. It’s just the other side of the same coin “separated by an expanse so small, but wide enough that one side can’t see the other”.

Even scientific studies show that performing kindness acts activates areas of pleasure, social connection, and trust in the brain. Scientists also found that when someone only thinks of the idea of giving, endorphins and oxytocin hormones, which elevate the mood, are released making us feel better and happier for hours.

There is another aspect to kindness that has its two sides, being anonymous about kind acts or talking about kindness. People have had their preferences, there has always been a point of view that charity, donation, kindness etc. are something that are not to be boasted about. On the other hand, we have many movements across the globe now that promote being kind and taking up random acts of kindness.

My personal opinion and experience are that the more I read and see people doing acts of kindness, the more courage I am developing within myself to be kind. And as they say it’s about taking a leap of faith and executing the act.

So don’t let your logical mind and conditioning hold you back, go chose your side of the kindness coin, either ways its liberating.

Rajesh Kodukula