Yesterday, I received an email from a devotee with a beautiful heart but who is still struggling to overcome a tragic loss. While I was typing the response.. it struck me that the answers to my grief lived in this response as well. Perhaps it might be of some use to others too. 

Here goes her email, verbatim ( minus a couple of lines ) 

Respected Sushreeji,

I take the liberty of writing to you on your mail id since comments were not solicited on os.me. You had shared it with me when I visited the ashram with my daughter. Little has changed with time, the grief feels like lead and the sadness feels like an emotion that envelopes us like a tall giant powerful wave. 


“Mistakes of my past have already taken flight….. “so beautifully expressed that I read and reread the lines… You validate the grief that we all carry in different measures. Many of us…. And it feels just like you described it.
 

So please don’t be apologetic. You lead the way…for so many of us Sushreeji, that we may verbalize and normalise it , so that we are mainstream too! Grieving people also take up as much space in the world as so called heroes do. 
And then, like you said we are UNFINISHED….

May Swamiji’s grace be on all of us, alike ….
With warmest of regards and lots of love

Here’s the response ( a part of it)- 

Jai Sri Hari my dear, 

My sorrowful heart burst into happiness at the recognition of pain that I live with. As absurd as it may sound just like a lost traveller rejoices at the sight of another one, we do too when our pain reverberates as acceptance in someone’s eyes. More than a solution out of it, our hearts need to be heard and accepted.
I was still in this fanciful state when Swamiji’s wisdom almost plucked me out of my chain of thoughts and here’s what the heart resounded with a might  – 

A challenge awaits me at every corner 
A push stumbles my walk
while I struggle to balance as I stand after a night struck by fearsome hawks 


Grief is as much worth embracing 
as it is detrimental 

A surge of excitement divulged my heart 
at the vision of a world 
with a space 
a silent corner 
for the ones 
with a broken heart 

Then it slowly dawned 
the passage of time 
and the beauty of grief 
sucks the life out of our lives 

What’s left is not us 
remains gnawed of our displeasured self 
a loss of perspective never lets 
this realisation flocks our sight

It is we who were born with intellect 
that we sold at a petty price 

the solace of sorrow 
costs dear in hindsight

May Sri Hariji and Swamiji‘s grace indeed pull us out of our sluggish lives where we lie entwined in a pensive state !!
My humble obeisances at the feet of my Guru and God for we may not know but they still watch over us one and all!  

Pay Anything You Like

Sushree Nitya Om

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