Pranams at Swami ji’s feet
I could not resist writing on Swami ji fourth swaminar, It was highly comprehensive!
Today’s theme was Communication.
Swami ji’s opening statement rang true for all ages, every entrepreneur and any job, as he said “in your hands are two things and you can harness both of these- effective communication and your competence”.
One must be able to communicate their competence! Since the opponent is seeing the world through your eyes, your communication must be effective and crisp.
Thereafter, the usual poll on mandatory read was taken.
He always asks who read the book 1, 2 and 3?
He does not ask who completed the read on book 1, 2 and 3?
Well you may have guessed the rest…… I am guilty of white lie as I punch in one book in the poll each week. I barely make half a read of 1st book each week!
It’s lack of time at early 40s. My mind can take it but body lags behind after a 15-16 hours stint/day.
I cannot imagine disrespecting Swami ji’s and my inner lord’s effort to become a better communicator, visionary, leader and most of all a worthier person. For that reason, I do have a plan for these unfinished books.
Plan is to drown myself in all these books in 2021, if an opportunity does not materialise for me at work. These books would be the perfect positive distraction in my hours of hurt.
On the contrary if I am able to avail this opportunity (that I have worked on tirelessly since 2006), I will have good 2-3 hours a week saved. My travel to work would be reduced by 110 miles/ week and I would happily go through these books.
I have only shared my plan, since Swami ji himself said, “you must read these books when you can”. Moreover, love reading Swami ji’s and Sadhvi Vrinda ji’s work, plus their recommendations. Even after repeated reads, each time I find some new wisdom in their work.
Sorry no more digressing!
Swami ji stated that a meaningful communication does have a clear objective. Profound communications develop meaningful relationships. Otherwise an idle gossip without any objective results in negative outcomes such as; argument or wasted energy or time etc.
He revealed that in his life he ONLY had room for meditation, work and fitness in his yesteryears before the Swami-hood.
He even stated the 5 rules of e-mail communication. Implying what an e-mail should contain:
a) Who it’s being sent to?
b) Why it’s being sent?
c) What response you desire?
d) What outcome you desire?
e) By when (response deadline)?
Furthermore, Swami ji said, “when people are choosing to listen to you, you must relay your competence totally transparently”.
It’s relevance was in the context of when a listener wishes to “skip” certain information. If the information is “vital”, you must emphasise the “importance” of this information and offer a choice to the listener. One must NOT assume that the listener would prefer to skip the information.
It is all about one crisp communication leading to another and likewise one opportunity leading to the next!
Finally, he answered a million dollar conundrum today!
When we have an opponent (colleague, interviewer, listener, business partner, client, customer, boss….) who is close-minded towards us, what do we do?
Take the following step by step approach (we do do this but without knowing the method and science behind it):
i) Make a small talk “but factual”, such as sky is clear today or fuel prices have gone up etc.
Why- Your aim is to get them to start with “small Yes” or small agreements with you to begin with! Later on small Yes’s would cumulatively lead to hopefully a big Yes!
ii) After that ASK THE QUESTION directly such as “Why do you need this”?
Why- Our minds are primed to solve questions. If we “ask questions” we engage with them better, as both minds start to solve the problem.
iii) Thirdly as the “What if”? If you know your stuff, you will ask the right “What if”. Your, intelligence would unearth the right “What if”!
Why- We are priming their consciousness in a certain direction with the three above steps.
The “What if” is your opportunity to ask what the opponent wants from you, a product, a deal etc. Hone in on this “What if” and get all the information so you can work on solving the problem from their point of view.
iv) Next is to declare your position with an explanation of “Because”.
Why- We are conditioned in our brains with certain words. “Because” is a word that elicits a positive response from our opponents. It highlights the reasons behind why we do what we do! It clarifies our position!
Next we were shown a clip of- People buy based on Why? When a company is selling, the buyers buy if they associate with the “Why is the company selling the product”?
The goal it not to sell but to make the buyer believe in your cause!
v) Lastly the word “But” can be used effectively as an “enhancer” and hopefully not an “eraser” of a communication.
How- Whatever comes before the word “But” is forgotten and what is stated after it is remembered. So use it selectively!
Body language is important- use wit and banter to keep the mood of the meeting light. It works!
If and when you need to say anything negative, always try to use “We” and say anything positive use “You”!
If one does not know or understand something, always be honest about it- never lie!
Try to say more “Yes’s” wherever you can and “it is almost like saying yes to life”, Swami ji said!
If you have to say “No”, always say no to the cause and “Never” SAY NO TO THE PERSON. Please do not reject the person, only reject the cause!
Jai Shri Hari