I dropped my phone at 11:15 PM so that I could sleep on time, but I was unable to sleep. Over-thinking was killing me, past events and so on. I was getting scared, badly, like somebody was near me. Suddenly a thunderstorm came and I got more scared. Thunder of clouds and lightning were enough to trap me in a scary world. I tried very hard not to pick up my phone, but at that moment, I needed someone badly who could hear me and moreover who could understand me. I could not think of anybody else but my best friend, Sanya. She knows everything about me, as all best friends generally do.
All of us have one friend who can hear us patiently and understand us. In my case, it is none other than Sanya. Thus, I switched on my phone and my notifications popped up showing a message from Sanya. I opened it and read her message, which enquired if I had enjoyed the song, which she had suggested to me. I answered her question in the positive. When I started typing my feelings about the song, she was simultaneously typing about the next web series that she wanted me to enjoy. She always does that. She had become my friend a year ago and it had been really fun. I texted about my feelings, mood swings, thunderstorms and cobwebs in my mind. I was not surprised at all when she said that she was going through similar emotions. She told me that we were at that stage of life, right now, where all kinds of shit come to mind. Now, we were nearing success and we could not give up. She was right, I agreed. Loneliness really kills you. When you are lonely you behave like a moron, she says. What she does to overcome loneliness, she told me, but I am a different kind of person and mostly I do not get relief by following the pattern suggested by her.
Her remedy is very simple:
Listen to songs (Yeah, I love to do that)
Watch web series (Can watch one or two episodes in a day, not more)
Read (I do ) etc.
I share this because one might be that kind of a person who can fight with loneliness in that manner but it is just a way of escaping from oneself.
I found my actual problem is loneliness. We can distract ourselves by reading so that we do not think, but for how long? Our problems will keep mounting, for sure, and then the situation would be uncontrollable. We all need time with ourselves. But we are not ready to face ourselves. We become so habituated with our superfluous identity.
We can hide our reality from the world but not from ourselves. We hear so much about spending time with ourselves, but how many of us can do that? We know the problem is that we are not comfortable with ourselves and just pretend that we can take it on our chin. I cannot understand as to why we have to act mature all the time? We can be real. Simple funda is ‘real’. Do whatever we love to do. We don’t need to be a part of the rat race. We are all unique. We all have different choices and we are all free to choose. We are living in an independent world. We have many options. We just need to choose the right options at the right time. Now i know my real problem so can i ask what is your?
Go find your problem and solve that.
PS: This is one of my old and favourite post which i shared on my WordPress on 19 April, 2020 and after os.me i stopped writing there.