Om Namah Shivaya
Every Shivaratri I think what can I do staying awake? Isn’t it obvious, mind says. Then I start writing “Om Namah Shivaya” in my notepad and after some time start watching some live Jagaran shows and finally go to sleep.
This time I made sure I will stay awake, I have immersed myself in reading some serious documentation believing everyone around that I might go to bed late.
Past midnight, I was happy and I decided to chant closing my eyes. Soon after some time I am chanting but mentally thinking about next day’s To-dos. I start again and like speed of light gets lost , tried ..lost, tried ..lost. The Aaadi Anant from above would be saying.. Hey. .you, I am not listening to you as you are mentally absent while you are chanting 😀
I sat back and thought what to do. In that moment, I got a thought to write something during this Jagaran event. I don’t know how else I can spend this auspicious time. While I am writing this post and much before writing this, I m calm and thinking about Shiva(still multi tasking, he might not like it again, sorry Baba).
Back then when I was in school, my communication with God was like that of friend with lot of complaints. I use to ask why do you give my other classmate more marks, don’t you know she did cheating, why you gave me second highest and why not first as I have not done any cheating, I deserve to be first as I am honest. Things have changed a bit, I crib less(much less) to him but instead I have started complaining to my family. My Bholenath again from above, listen its all same you trouble me or your parents. Ok noted, I will try to improve here baba.
Today, I only seek is him, his directions, way to immensely love him without a single need/question/complaint, truly unconditional without any tiny winy star at the corner which says conditions still apply.
What you seek is seeking you. I always believed in this famous quote written by 13th century poet, Rumi.
Every time I read posts here or listen to Swami ji, I feel you all are guiding me what I am trying to seek. Swami ji is Sri Hari, he is always loving, blessing and guiding us the way Sri Hari showed the path to Arjuna.
I am grateful to be part of this family. Thank you.
Hope you all spend this time with much more immensely loving Mahadev and Mata Parvati. Happy Mahashivaratri.