I was in trouble and stuck with no solution in sight. So, I paid a visit to the god at  his abode to have a word with him, to beg….at the temple. There is a different energy, a different aura to the temples and the deity appears to be more present there, so i feel that chances of finding him, chances of him listening to me are more at the temple than anywhere else. Its the same as being at home v/s being at ashram. So , i was  at the temple in front of the god to have a word with him. After all, he is the only one with whom we never feel negative , even if we are begging, we call it prayer.  some of us even trade with him in the name of prayer. If I get X exponentially, I will give .0001X.  lets just ignore that and those for now. Speaking of Prayer, i am reminded of this 

दुःख में सुमिरन सब करे सुख में करै न कोय। जो सुख में सुमिरन करे दुःख काहे को होय ॥

कबीर दास जी कहते हैं कि दुःख के समय सभी भगवान् को याद करते हैं पर सुख में कोई नहीं करता। यदि सुख में भी भगवान् को याद किया जाए तो दुःख हो ही क्यों ! 

English version: Every one remembers God in bad times but we don’t remember him in good times. If we had remembered and prayed in good times, the bad times wouldn’t be troublesome.  

Coming back to the bad times and my visit to his adobe, I forgot what I had come to beg as soon as i set my eyes on the diety. A sense of peace washed over and all i could think of was of being close to him, to be like him. 

After a few moments of peace and bliss, the memory of difficult time fired up, it fried up the present moments peace. I did the begging, performed the rituals and left.  कहानी हर धर की, हर गृहस्थ की ।

I was feeling bad for the short lived moments of bliss, it felt low to beg for personal gains . At that moment a thought fired up. What should I have prayed to God in good or normal times so that bad times were not as difficult. I had no clear answer. it lingered in the back of my mind. Months later, unexpectedly I got the answer listening a discourse of Dhyansaagar ji maharaj. The following are pearls of his wisdom…

There are five prayers that can be uttered to God and as long as they spring from your heart, its  a Prayer 

First: Oh Lord , Grant me forgiveness and Forgive me. There are so many mistakes i make. Bitterness, acerbity is not far from heart, Under the Impressions of Karma, I commit mistakes. Forgive me… 

Second: Grant me Purity of Emotions, Notions or sentiments, I go astray sometimes, so grant me purity of emotions. 

Third: Oh Lord, Grant me the strength to fulfil the resolutions i make. I become weak and go astray from the path of resolve. Grant me the strength to fulfil the resolve. 

Fourth: Oh God, Grant me Peace.

Fifth: Lord, Grant me endless bliss. Without this i go astray and start to seek it in worldly pleasures. Grant me endless bliss. 

come to think of it, these five things, forgiveness loosens the grip of past karma, Thoughts and emotions is where everything begins and purity these is a absolute must , resolve – every action begins with it, peace facilitates the mind and its environment , and true bliss is the result we all actually seeks. Every problem and situation can be handled with these elements of prayer. i ran these five yardsticks by my situation and everything seems to be encompassed in these Prayers. You too can give it a try

And here is the tool to find out if it was indeed a prayer and not a repetitive ritual

Prayer with sincerity and truth would result in flow of teardrops (no theatrics, here, only genuine and true feeling). We end with tears when we are truly happy or sad, in deep devotion of Lord or guru,  or in repentance. Some bit of sin and guilt get washed away with those teardrops.

One of those days in meditation, tear flowed out of devotion and my wife saw that.  After i finished, my wife innocently asked  “Why?” pointing at my teary face “सच्चे दिल से प्रार्थना करोगे तो रोना नहीं पडेगा!!  If you pray genuinely, you wouldn’t have to cry!!

🤦🏻‍♂️  हे भगवान !!  Gone with the wind was peace, bliss, purity of emotions and forgiveness, resolve was already unresolved in that facepalm moment. Such is the nature of karma.