What should I do?…. I continually adk this question to myself from past 6 days, whether I laugh like a maniac, cry like I someone who lost it or sit quietly & sigh, I really don’t know so I thought maybe FAMILY could help me out or atleast listen to my grief. 

Lol! I know after some days after publishing this I am gonna laugh on myself but so be it. 

So here I go.. 

For me sri vidya & tantra have become quite a huge part of my life, to be able to learn the vidya of the devi & have her vision is a big dream, big for someone like me who hasn’t achieved the perfection of posture, someone who can’t sit still but yet I dared to dream of getting to know her. What can I say 

Asan siddh hai nhi chla tha devi ki vidya sidh krne huh… Laughs on myself. 

Anyway through devi’s grace & whatever little prayer I did, I was introduced to a competent guru, a great tantric who takes a systematic approach to make you a yogi & then take you further on the path, what can I say about him my guru, he is a great teacher but a strict one too, he has a very clear cut system.

But karma I guess… The classes he conducts on weekend for which I was going to register slips away due to family & health problems, I requested him to take me in but the slot was full & now the next class is in October, so all things said & done 

I  left here craving to learn the vidya whereas most people who joined new are learning it… Hecc will my life end without your grace mother.. What karma had I done that are stopping me to know you better… What if my life ends without getting your darshan, is such a life worth it mother, what will happen in next birth I don’t know but for this 

I miss you mother…. Maa sunlo pukar meri yaa toh pran hi le lo 

Hear my call or take my life 

Anyway I don’t what lies ahead but anybody who is reading this & think I am crazy, it’s ok , I think the same. 

Thank you for reading my rambling & going through a mindless vent. 

Thank you!!! 

Note : Most of us think that sri vidya is a easy way out but I warn you it isn’t, before you can progress on the path you have to undergo prepararory practice for a year which will include asana siddhi, nadi shuddhi without which pranayama isn’t possible, knowledge of chakras, ashta kumbakhas etc… So you have to be a yogi before you can walk the path, without spinal breathing, vibration of mantra cannot be felt. Don’t try simply repeating mantras of sri vidya devta, it is a powerful vidya & stage progress is mandatory. 

Hope this will help you anyway, many people including myself tried to skip the process & the result won’t be pleasant. 

Hope this helps!