Everyone knows it well that there are no free lunches. I also have somewhat similar sentiments for all worldly affairs cum commercial activities. Little did I know that even a spiritual platform is not out of its purview.

Whenever I used to comment like, “why do you bring home these ‘free’ gifts distributed by M. R.s!”, my doctor husband would try to convince me by his perspective. He would say, ” This is my hard earned reputation. Not everyone gets these gifts. I sincerely work day and night. ” 

All these years my mind never accepted his logic. I was conditioned to have a special meaning of word – “free”.

Perhaps this is the Divine’s way, and yet one more Graceful shower that now my mind start to think differently on the same  old grudge it had against my husband.

How this change has happened? Let me try to explain.

Sadhana App was launched with a tag line that it is absolutely free for all. Along with two years of intense hard work on it, Swamiji also shared about the huge huge monetary expenses occurred during its construction as also the future expenses for its upkeep. All this impacted me . I  had that very pure emotion of contributing like that squirrel of Ram Setu hence I totally totally enjoyed and felt blissful by contributing rupees ten thousand towards Sadhna App.

I signed in, explored the deepness of this ocean of bhakti and Sadhana. It’s mesmerizing. Its divine. Its joyous. Its so soothing. Its absolutely awesome. I start with Ganesh jis Sadhana. I conclude it by giving rupees thirty one as ( donation) dakshina for  day one.

Then I try ‘japa’ as well.  But, What’s this!!! Just after even one minutes log in for ‘japa’, a screen pops up requesting for दक्षिणा (donation).  I do one minutes japa again. Again last screen asks for donation. Lo and behold!!!!  My mind  takes me to those stories shared by people that all sanatan dharm rituals ask for dakshina (money). And how all big temples accept money for VIP entry. How pandas at Haridwar and Gayaji etc. almost compel you to shell out money. How other paths  followers  bitterly say that our pandits, pujaris, temples – all are after money,  with no pure sentiments for God…. bla… bla…

I have not been to any dhaam of God, hence no first hand experience. But yes, even then my conditioned mind found a flaw in the concluding last step of my own, the very pure and divine, virtual Sadhna App.

With every use, no matter for one minutes japa, its requesting to give dakshina. So far so good as there is the option to refuse giving dakshina (money).

The next and concluding sentence dilutes all the joy with a SENSE OF GUILT. Yes, it says something like –

 – only one percent of users choose to donate, anyway –

This line has been giving me a sense of guilt while using this FREE App. Its indeed free  perhaps  in the context that it pays me back  a sense of guilt for not donating every day, every time I use it. A feeling of not  awakening to the truth that ultimately life is transient, that no one has ever taken even a rupee along while making the final exit from this drama called life. 😊

I sincerely know that I am a very flawed person, there are truly no exaggerations here. I really am flawed and a lazy devotee of God. Yet I take the courage to bring this to Swamiji’s attention that –

“Swamiji, there might be more minds who are getting into this guilt trap.  Reading this request to donate at the end of each and every use of App in itself is enough to condition the mind. Either one donates, or takes home guilt of not paying.  

I also have this apprehension that I may have failed to give words to my pure bhaavas, hence  run a risk of being misunderstood by the team serving you closely. Still I take this risk as I know that my intentions are pure. I am not a money minded sort of individual. Still, I have shared what my heart desired to write here.

The App, in no way, should become an instrument to produce guilt as a by product. This is all my heart yearns for. The Sadhna App, in all its glorious form, should be the source of giving joy, bliss, peace and calmness to ONE AND ALL, every time one opens and closes it,  including someone as flawed as me. 

This last sentence

 – only 1% of users choose to give donation, anyway – 

 is a major guilt producing bug, which needs attention 😊

Its absolutely fine to ask for dakshina but the next step of waiting for 10 second 10, 9, 8,7……0 contains a taunt  in that sentence – only 1%…… 

And yes, I would no more taunt my doctor husband as to why he accepts the gifts he is showered with such respect. 😊😊😊

              ❤Jai Shri Hari ❤

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