The Vanished Laptop

Cast – 1. A new personal laptop 2. A work laptop 3. An old laptop 4. A foolish me 5. Guest appearances – my husband and my part time helper

OMG!! Where is my laptop?! My class starts in 5mins and I have to set up Zoom and check my camera angle. This is me at 5.55pm for the 6pm Ashtanga Kriya class (hey don’t judge me). Since time & I were not buddies today, I reluctantly decide to use my phone for the session, a choice not very ideal.

The teacher instructs, “Inhale through your right nostril and exhale slowly through your left using only your thumb and ring finger and focus on the Agnaya or Third eye, repeat for four rounds”. Me sitting crossed legs, Inhale “I am sure I kept the personal laptop under the TV cabinet, I never change its place”; Exhale “Could it have fallen between the cushions of my couch”. Inhale “I have to look in my work laptop bag”; Exhale “Did I take it to my friend’s house last evening”. Inhale “Let me check the book shelf once more”, Exhale “I bet I left on my bed under the unused blanket”. Inhale “I must look once again behind the TV cabinet in case it had fallen while left for charging; Exhale “I bought it only 6 months ago after much deliberation”. Thus ends four rounds of Nadi Suddhi Khumbak!!! So much for focus on the Third Eye. The class continues and needless to say the foolish me with a wandering mind attended in an auto pilot mode.

Ding Dong!! In walks my part time cleaner Madan who visits once a week to help me clean my apartment. On Zoom the teacher, “for the next kumbhak please focus on the Anahata” no points for guessing where my focus was. I switch the camera off and yell, “Madan, while cleaning please look for my laptop, its missing, check between the sofa cushions, the bed and the mattress”. Back on camera, cross my hands under the armpits, continue to inhale and exhale aimlessly with ‘a million thoughts’ until the end of the class.

“Madam, what are these two laptops under the TV cabinet”. Without moving an inch from where I sit, I reply “that’s the old laptop and the other one is my work laptop”. He mutters ok and continues with his work not wanting to deal with a hassled & anxious me.

Once Madan left, next on my itinerary was to get on a video call with my husband who was travelling. I settle on my couch and as soon as we connect, I rattle, “listen there is a small problem, I am unable to find my new laptop”. He looks quizzically at me and asks, “Did you check properly it should be right there”. I immediately retort, “I checked everywhere and got Madan to check too”. He says, “ok turn your camera and show me the TV cabinet”, I do it. He admonishes, “can you please get up and go near it”. “What is that?!”. “That is my old laptop and above it my work laptop”!! “Can you move the work laptop and look below that” Lo Behold!! Your guess is correct! Right there in front my eyes, all this while staring at me was my new personal laptop. I sheepishly put the camera back and wait to hear all the mockery. He adds, “first of all you assumed that this was the old laptop which by the way you have given it away to your niece for her online classes (which totally slipped my mind). As you it got fixated in your mind what you see is your old laptop, you did not even make an attempt to move from where you were seated and simply searched with just your eyes”.

I had to give it to him he is a wise man (after all he made the choice of marrying me)!

Moral – Due to the incessant chattering of my mind, I was not mindful or remember that I no longer possess the old laptop. A still mind is like a tranquil lake, a calm ocean an absolute beauty which I definitely lack. I have to practise being mindful and elevate my concentration conscientiously. – I cheekily borrowed the bold phrases from Swamiji’s ‘A Million Thoughts’.