Narcissist Quotes from Real-Life victims

In this article, you’ll find a compilation of toxic narcissist quotes. The attempt brings forth those tiny signs of narcissism that happen in daily conversations, conduct, and situations. If you are here, it could be because you’ve seen or are suspicious of some early signs of narcissism in your relationship or family members. The chances are that you’re trying to understand the situation. Nothing teaches like life, read on; you’ll find a combination of quotes and wisdom shared by victims based on their first-hand real-life experiences. 

We also added narcissist quotes from thought leaders. Narcissism is probably one of the hardest things to deal with, and it is crucial to seek help if you’re a victim or dealing with a narcissist. You can also reach out to os.me free helpline and seek the support of a life guide, in complete confidentiality.

Narcissist Mental Abuse Quotes 

If you’re feeling helpless in your relationship with a narcissist, you’re not alone. Many others also do, like the ones below. But there is hope as well. Seek help, fear not.

• I would hold my breath and sulk in one corner and watch all those ugly moments, for it was just a single room with eleven people of the family. Where do you go? So had no choice but to witness and allow my ears to ache with their high pitches as a daily dose. All my dreams were shattered. My so-called husband who told me that he was the best family now appeared like hollow and scattered clouds.

Whenever he ( the husband) saw me in one corner observing all the quarrel, he would shrug his shoulders from the other end and pass me a helpless look. He projected that he never was aware of the behavioral issues of his family before marriage. Later, he would explain to me that he was the only one trying to create peace for years in the family and hoped one fine day it would all be fine as soon as his earnings got better and with a decent place to stay for everyone. I believed him. Read more in this story on the modest beginnings of narcissistic behavior.

• “One thing, keep it in your mind, you are not to utter a single word against anyone, I do watch everything, and I can handle everything. Don’t try ever to teach me. I like your quietness, and I know you are doing your best. I can see that, so let me handle and speak on your behalf if that is the case if anything gets worse. 

Sometimes my mother and sisters go overboard, but they are all elder to you, so don’t give much thought to it. You know the best quality I like in you is that you do not utter anything and manage it well. I am always there for you”, he showed his love but was very stern in his tone.

Male Narcissist Quotes 

• ​​”Did I hurt you badly? I don’t know what went wrong with me; there is so much pressure on the new business I am trying to build. It’s for our betterment, and Didi(sister) is supposed to get some money from her friend for me. I hope you understand and know that I love you dearly. Please forget about this incident!”

• Shubha could not believe that this was the man who loved her so much. Has he changed? She put up with his abusive nature, as she thought he was struggling to make it big, and faced all the stresses of his day-to-day life. She further put up with physically getting tortured by him, as he kept saying that his family pressure ( of sisters, brother, and mother) makes him go crazy. 

He isolated her from the outer world, declaring it unsafe to be associated with anyone (an evil world was his all-time slogan) though he had a great social life. But him being so hideous to the degree of even robbing his daughter’s jewelry, this indeed was not normal. Was he just operating from pretentious participation all these years?

She felt, so trauma bonded in this relationship for the first time. She thought she was indeed in a dark pit. Is it time for her to take charge of her life seriously? Read the story of a victim of a malignant narcissist. 

Victim Narcissist Quotes 

Narcissism can make you feel trapped and stuck in a mess, but sometimes after things run their course, you will see the light and how twisted everything was.

• I was dazed, and my mind could not comprehend why this man hit me. I got up with great difficulty as I was hurt badly on the ear. What kind of life is this? I cried inconsolably. My baby was fast asleep as I looked at his innocent cute face. “What kind of fate I have given you, my child.”

• Sad as it may sound, I made up my mind not to have the baby (as it was just a couple of months) and gave my decision to my mother. She was shocked, but I was adamant. Only I know what I was going through in my heart of hearts, for it’s a big dream of every girl to have a beautiful life after marriage, and the experience of the first baby means the world. But my decision was in the interest of my family. The child I was carrying in my womb was, doomed by its father.

It was the harsh truth. My old parents cannot be held responsible for others’ wrongdoings or be blackmailed emotionally for the rest of their lives. I had to go through so much agony, so much pressure. Would it be fair if my family suffered 

quietly on my account?

The only promise I took from my family before being taken to the operation theatre was that no one should cry in front of me. Tears would have broken me down at that point. There was so much introspection and soul-searching going on within me. It was as if I had started searching for more profound answers to my life. My dear family gave me that respect and space, and everybody held their tears from me. Read the story of a victim physically abused by a narcissist.

• The controlling nature he displayed towards me did not come out immediately. It was more like a pot of boiling water, and I was the frog. Initially, when I was alarmed by his behavior, I shrugged it off as his way of trying to protect me because he loved me so much. But as the years went on, I began to rebel against his nature towards me.

 I would often comment, “I would rather take my ass whipping when I get home and ask for forgiveness instead of permission!” My behavior in this way also seemed normal because the saying came from my father, so I felt it was just my nature to rebel against anyone trying to rule my actions. Now, I realize it was one of the inclusions in our relationship I continued to disregard as anything other than an attempt to control me.

 Also, my father was an alcoholic, so when I started drinking more heavily to cope with many things in our lives, I considered it to be another trait of my father’s I adopted. Little did I know, it was my way of managing my continued disappointment in my husband’s eyes. But everything seemed to unravel just before my father got killed. 

• My mother and husband initially seemed to have an excellent relationship. He preferred spending time with my family instead of his own. But something seemed to change when we had our son. It trigged something in David, and he became even more controlling of me and my time. It got so bad that I became somewhat mischievous doing what I wanted to do without regard for his wishes. 
• While he continued to want me at home no matter if we were spending time together or doing an activity or not. I think a part of me needed this type of behavior from my significant other because my father had many affairs. I guess I felt safe through his controlling behavior because I was so vulnerable in the area of commitment. I think it may have been another reason I could so easily overlook this unhealthy behavior in our relationship. He was such an introvert that I understood in many ways why he always wanted me home. And as sick as it now seems, I saw it as a sign of love. 

Toxic Narcissist Quotes 

• “You see, I took that Jewelry bag and went and sold it to get some pounds as I needed money,” he smiled slyly at her.

Shubha gulped down her emotions. What!! 

“You knew what mental stress I went through losing her stuff for weeks at a go, along with all the pressure of dealing with other things, and all the while you pretended to know nothing about the jewelry. On top of that, you later on loaded and kept remarking me with the pressure of being careless. How could you be so insensitive, and it’s taken almost two years to declare what you did” she felt disgusted with his behavior.

“Hey, I am sorry, but I needed money. You better listen, now don’t create a scene; you don’t have to earn the bread and butter of the house, so don’t even argue about this with me. Get my dinner in the room. I have to leave for work early tomorrow,” he fumed and walked away. 

Final goodbye narcissist abuse quotes

• Suddenly, some commotion took place between my brother and his wife in the room, and their argument got so loud that I could hear everything. My sister-in-law was saying that she wanted me to leave the place at any cost, and my brother kept pacifying her that he would soon be shifting me to another town. 

I could not believe my ears, clueless of this strange behavior, felt very embarrassed, as the whole staff in my house was overhearing. I felt humiliated. They chose money and property over me. What is my identity? Do I belong to anybody? Does my existence matter to anybody? How much more am I going to suffer at the hands of others. So much was this inner force of emotions that I took a drastic step that very moment. 

I don’t know what got over me, but I took out my suitcase, threw my clothes from my wardrobe into it, went out into the living room where this guy was sitting, very profoundly asked him, “so you wanted to marry me, are you willing to do so right away! He went blank but consented. 

I called my brother out and politely uttered, “I am leaving the house, you need not worry about me anymore”. “I am not taking a single penny with me. There is a kitbag with some precious things Mom had gifted me on my birthdays if you want, I can leave that too”. I further added, “you can get all the business and property papers signed anytime! I would not back out on my words”. 

His eyes welled up, and he begged me not to leave. The staff was very close to me, and they were all in tears and tried to stop me. My sister-in-law did not bother to come out, though.

• “Papaji (father-in-law), please sign these papers as your daughter has an equal share in your empire…So please part with her share to me. It would help me in my profession.” He added, “Your daughter is pregnant. Do you want to take care of her and her child for the rest of your life! So, for everyone’s benefit, please sign the papers.”

Papaji first looked at him, as he was not expecting this rude behavior from the guy he proudly chose for me. Then he looked at me, thinking that if I consented (and because I was pregnant), he would give away some property for my happiness. My father had a massive business in Calcutta. As a Consultant and Chartered Accountant, my father held a high position and immense respect amongst the high profiles of the city. He was famous for his helpful nature towards all. And today, I see him quietly listening to a random uncouth guy he chose for me.

It’s a shame on us, the children if we allow our parents to be rebuked or mistreated by our so-called partners for no fault of theirs. It was my destiny perhaps that I ended up with such a guy as my partner, but the choice of letting go of such an abusive man lay in my hands. Those were my thoughts, and I grew up that day. I got my voice that moment! I could not see my father bow down to fulfill the wishes of an abusive man, who happened to be my legal husband.

I quietly got up from my seat, walked towards the guy, took the documents from his hand, tore those into pieces, and asked him to get out of the house.

It was the first time my father did not utter a single word on my rudeness to my surprise; his eyes glistened to see me act so boldly; my mother was quiet, my siblings were amazed. I just felt so empowered. All backed my decision.

•  Each of us is that man lugging around excess baggage we could do without. No baggage is heavy if you don’t have to move or carry it. What happens to us does not make our lives heavy, but we choose to carry resentment, anger, hatred, or revenge in our hearts does. 

Judith Sills, in her bestseller Excess Baggage calls them our blind spots. We don’t recognize them even if we see them. Like an old piece of heavy furniture, they are in our way, and we keep stubbing our toes. One of the classic signs of excess baggage is the belief that someone else or the other person is responsible for my misery. Find out – Am I a narcissist?

If you can’t call it quits on your narcissistic partner, there’s only one other option: accept whatever you can and learn to protect yourself. If you can’t do that either, you’d better develop infinite compassion, patience, and love. And this is the spiritual way. Let your goodness rise above your spouse’s behavior. No matter what the circumstances, you choose a demeanor that befits you – Om Swami

Narcissist Mother Quotes

• A lot of commotion started between the sisters, mother, and the so-called man I chose as my husband. His mother began to rebuke him and said sarcastically, “How can you marry a second-hand woman!” “Were you short of unmarried girls in your life?”The son tried to hush her, but she kept yelling and finally saw my blank and feeble expression. She added, “Now that you have come here, you have to do what we tell you to do.”Don’t show your elite attitude ever in this house!”. Three of his sisters, who were elder to him, echoed the same.
• Sadly when your emotions are crushed every day under the debris of violence, it seems impossible to find yourself—the idea of giving a decent life to your children shapes into mere oblivion. Where your very identity is stripped naked and thrown on matted streets of life like a corpse, it’s a sad scene to tearfully and helplessly watch how your freedom is also now under the siege of the other person.
• So much was the impact of the dark environment that it eventually started to rub on me that married life is purely to sacrifice, bear, and keep putting up with the nuisance of your partner for the sake of children. I am sure I could have saved my children from all this dirt had I shown the courage of being a Mother who respected their identity more than their father’s. And unfortunately, all the make-belief protection shield that I kept creating for my little kids was way too porous to protect their hearts to experience the violence in the house.

Quotes about Narcissist Abuse

Tragedies, abuses, calamities, and setbacks can ruin the very spirit in you. It’s relatively easy to say to keep positive most of the time, esp. when your inner self is weak. We encounter the same cycles, the same kind of people with the self not feeling complete. It’s natural to feel the urge to have someone by your side who can understand you, and even better if they can help you live and laugh. In many cases, it does not happen.

Our qualities of being quiet and patient are perceived as being strong, which could be otherwise. Strength, too, needs channelizing like weakness. If left unattended or unacknowledged, the soul can never heal despite all its proper functionalities. Strength too needs a pat at the back. Our wise choices, humility and honesty, and everlasting peace can only come from a healed heart and mind. The right environment and people matter the most. 

Narcissist Family Quotes

• The mental torture they inflicted upon me started taking the form of physical suffering. There came a time, barely after a month, when I was beaten and abused by that man, which lasted for a couple of months. I kept quiet as from my childhood days. I was not allowed to question. But it did come as a shock to me how an educated adult, my husband, could abuse me this way?

The torture did not end there; my in-laws ensured that the domestic maids quit and left. I did all the cleaning and washing. (Imagine! I had never worked at all in my parent’s house, as we had helpers to look after our house day and night).

• I fell seriously sick after a few days. It was a pathetic state of helplessness. I did not know how to react as I had never witnessed such helplessness. Did I? Every day I would get up and tutor myself, that I should keep doing my work in the best possible manner so that everyone would be happy. In that state of sickness, too, I was asked to do the dishes and cook.

Eventually, my health started deteriorating, I started remaining very quiet, the abuses and taunts became a daily affair, and my morale went further down with each passing day. Whenever my Mom and Pappaji would call, I’d make sure I sounded happy so that they’d never sense my troubles and get troubled or even get a faint idea of what I was going through. I always felt a deep sense of responsibility towards them.

Another month passed, I had lost too much weight suffered from constant fever. It was sheer torture. There was no joy left inside me. I had forgotten even to smile. All I knew was I had to keep doing my duty daily.

• Before stepping out of that house, I remember Papaji saying to my in-laws, “I gave a beautiful flower, my daughter who is my dear heart, to your son with the trust. But you did not value her. She shall not come back to this house”. And I left never to go back.https://os.me/short-stories/soul-abuse/ 

Co-parenting with a narcissist

I link myself with this kind of life, for I was with a narcissist and abusive man for good twenty-seven years. My little kids also faced the brunt of witnessing an abusive father. All their childhood and my young days went battling and waiting for that spark of “that one fine day” when things would be better! But it never did happen. Not that happy moments would not appear, but unfortunately, they were short-lived or projected as big favors. Read the story of a victim co-parenting with a narcissist.

True Color Narcissist Quotes

• To say I was love bombed seems like a gimmick. And I know every person has their version of this phase in the relationship, but somehow I remember it as really being loved. When I look back without the rose-colored glasses, I can see slight inclusions that change my overall perception of everything that made up our lives together. I was fully aware that my husband was insecure in many ways, but they all seemed minor issues at the time because the closer we drew together, his insecurities seemed to dissipate.

He loved me so much that everyone we encountered commented on how he always looked “so in love” when he looked at me and even more so when he talked about me. It was as if he were beaming, they would say. I always looked at one picture from our wedding with joy because of how he was looking at me. But now, when I think of the picture and his face, it feels more like a look of conquest instead of love I previously saw. 

Narcissist Relationship Quotes

• Think of a giant hot air balloon, more extensive than the size of a spaceship. In front of a narcissist’s ego, it’s no more than a tiny bubble. A narcissist has an insatiable need for admiration and a puffed-up sense of self-importance. (Many preachers, swamis, religious and political leaders fall in this category, by the way.) In most broken relationships, at least one partner strongly displays the traits of a narcissist.
• In addition to his controlling bias, he had always spoken somewhat poorly to me. The issue was much less offensive in our honeymoon phase of the relationship. He would consistently use me as the punch line of whatever he needed to break the ice in social settings. I didn’t have much issue with it because I knew social settings were not his strong suit as they were mine. 

A few years into our marriage, his mother began to comment on this habit I allowed him to continue. And as the years went on, the way he spoke to me began to bother more and more people we encountered. I had become so used to not paying attention to his comments of this nature I became the mother in a public place that was deaf to the antics of her children.

• As the firstborn of an alcoholic, I was a natural pleaser, but I was at a loss in this situation, never being able to please either one of them. I began seeking therapy due to this divide, and this was when I started to accept the difficulties of my relationship with my husband. But somehow, I was so trauma bonded to him that I could still not see what our relationship really was and where it would ultimately end. I still feel dumbfounded by my inability to see things for what they were but little did I know it would be revealed in short order. Somehow the relationship I felt so connected to seemed to break down without any other option. 
• In my attempt to figure out what was going on with my husband, I searched for anything. I even considered he might have a tumor. His demeanor towards me had grown so cold and distant, and I was desperate for anything that might help us get back on track. And one night, I was searching for phrases he would say to me, and I found an article about Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). Suddenly it all became clear. My husband was a textbook covert narcissist suffering from NPD. 

While it was not good news, it was somewhere to start, I thought. I tried as many avenues as I could to try and make this disorder manageable, but it never seemed to work. Read a brave story of divorcing a narcissist. 

• What a narcissist does at the end of a relationship is that they make sure you “are not desired” anymore; they force you out. They leave you emotionally tattered, which makes the question of how to get over a narcissist one of the most challenging to answer. It’s a long, hard road. But doable.
• When the relationship is coming undone, a narcissist emotionally and mentally exploits their partners into believing that they are the mean people in the relationship. A narcissist will gaslight their partner throughout the relationship, to the very end, making them question their own beliefs and sabotaging their self-esteem.

Manipulation Narcissist Quotes

You ask me how to deal with a narcissistic spouse? The truth is you can’t deal with them. You can only take measures to protect yourself. If you are surviving in a relationship with a narcissist, chances are you are too empathetic, too caring. You have put up with a lot, you are being soft, and you hope your partner will change based on your actions. You are trying to adjust around your spouse’s needs hoping they won’t blow up or hurt you again with their gestures or words. 

The truth is, these strategies don’t work with a narcissist. They are not the way they are because of you. They are just too self-obsessed. How to deal with a narcissist? 

• We should learn to let go of what no longer feels right. Secondly, we should observe our behavioral patterns. How we respond in those situations, when people playing a victim card, try to ensnare us in their trap. We should not fall into their trap by empathizing with such manipulators. It helps no one. It is a zero-sum game. Not falling prey to such narcissistic manipulators ultimately helps both. Read about narcissistic abuse recovery.
• I once read a quote, “That’s enough of me talking about myself. Now, let’s hear you talk about me.” This sums up a narcissistic person. 
• A narcissist is also an expert manipulator, for they know how to extract a particular behavior from the other person. Even though it’s defined as a disorder, in reality, when it comes to a narcissistic relationship, it’s the narcissist’s partner (and not the narcissist themselves) who suffers the most. When two narcissists enter a relationship, they have huge arguments over practically everything. None can take the criticism. They start putting each other down at every opportunity. And eventually, they either split or live under the same roof as two strangers.
• If a relationship with a narcissist ends quickly, it’s because they want it over. You don’t get to choose; they are expert manipulators. They would make it very obvious that they are done with you and the relationship, even going to the extent of flirting with others.

Narcissistic father quotes

• Let me say my farewell to you, papa. I longed to see in you a father taking his son to a game, watching tv together, a father talking to me about my adolescence, my father being a loving husband, and my father being the most wonderful father to my sister. 

Unfortunately, you have disappointed heavily in every aspect. I am bidding you adieu not because you loved me, my mother, or my sister. You never did. Had a loving God not been here, my sister and I would have burned to death in that fire. But you didn’t spare my mother. I got this life as a gift, an extension to my lifeline. Read how narcissistic rage can impact children and destroy a family.

To every woman and every child who has battled the trauma of an abusive relationship:

Please know that life is ever smiling, wholeheartedly giving us a chance to start afresh at every moment. It doesn’t matter how it looked in the past. You are way above all those who let you down. Ward off any anxiousness that compels to take away your very sheen – Siddhika Om

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